Sea Green and Grey
by princessOFdarkeness
Summary: Gale & Annie strike up a peculiar friendship when he rescues her. Can the friendship survive the war against the Capital? Planning for Annie/Gale in later chapters;Following chronologically & accurately so some Katniss/Gale
1. Chapter 1: The Rescue

Quick like lightning, in and out as swiftly as possible was the goal. I'd been trained for this. Life and death hung in the balance as I moved stealthily through the shadows towards my target, gun raised, tensed to hear the slightest sound that might signal an alarm had been tripped. Katniss was going to kill me for leaving her behind. Afraid I might forget about the mission entirely and shoot Peeta in the head to secure my faulty hope of a relationship with Katniss, Boggs had left me the sole task of breaking Annie out of her house in District 4's Victors Village. Once inside, all it took was one look at the rooms to see Snow had been here, perhaps to see if just maybe Finnick had trusted a mad girl with information after all. When I found her in an upstairs room chained naked to her bed looking a little worse for the ware, I knew this had to be true.

Annie didn't turn to face me as I walked towards her, didn't so much as flitch as I reached the side of her bed and knelt down, trying to look into her eyes. They were deadened, but not frightened, her lips moving silently to words only she could hear as she stared through me. I didn't exist in her world, was just another demon sent by Snow to plague her perhaps. On the bedside table sat a small wooden trident, probably to torture her with memories of her far away love. I made a move to remove the first shackle from her wrist.

"Are you here to poke and prod at me too? Needles and sharp bits of metal buried deep within my skin, a lab rat, a science experiment." I jumped and pulled back, her voice cutting so sudden and sharp in the silence. Her eyes were wild and dangerous now as she stared through me. I could almost feel her trying to shred me to pieces with a look. "Please, kill me before you inject me this time."

"No, I'm here with the rebellion in District 13. I'm here to save you." The intensity of her eyes didn't lessen, her chest heaving as she stared. Perhaps she was afraid I was here as the President's spy, trying to wheedle any information out of her others might have missed. "Finnick Odair sent me to rescue you, Annie."

"Finnick sent you?" She asked, brown knitting in confusion. Nodding I went back to trying to unlock her shackles, succeeding in the first and blushing slightly as I leaned over her to work at the other wrist. As I moved to her ankles I self her rise under me but attributed it to her trying to get into a more comfortable position after God only knew how long she'd been chained sprawled out for all to see. Out of nowhere I felt her weight upon me, felt the sharp pain as she stabbed me, felt something break off in the wound. Rearing back I started up at her looming above me hair flying every which way, the broken shaft of what had once been a toy trident in her had. "Liar, they made me watch the reports on television as they experimented on me! Finnick's dead!"

One of her ankles was still chained. When she made to stab me again I rolled off the bed and into the far corner of the room, cursing as pain blossomed under my shoulder blade. She howled at me, launching herself off the bed at me. All this gained her was a collision with the floor, her weapon falling out of her loosened grip and rolling away. I kicked it out into the hall before she could get her wits about her and pick it back up.

"Do you want unchained or not?" I snapped at her, watching her where she lay sprawled out on the floor not moving. And then her head turned, eyes latching onto mine for the first time since I'd first tried to release her. "Those reports were lies, the Capital showed them to you so you wouldn't have any hope of a rescue. Finnick's alive and waiting for you back in District 13. He needs you, Annie he's going crazy with worry without you."

"That sounds like my Finnick…" She said softly, gingerly lifting herself up into a sitting position. Scanning me one more time she smiled slightly, running a heavily shaking hand through her hair. "Okay, I'll trust you."

"Thank you," I said, moving slowly to undo her last cuff in case she changed her mind and tried to strangle me but she sat by completely still until I was finished. "Do you think you can walk on your own?"

"I honestly have no idea. Sometimes, in that bed, I felt like I didn't have legs at all anymore." She said, worrying me. This escape already wasn't going as planned, and further complications might sink us if I didn't think fast. I offered her my hand to pull her up. She stared at it like it might bite, finally tentatively taking it with the very tips of her fingers. Her hands were like ice.

"Now, do people come to check on you every day?" I asked, looking around the room for a clock only to find there wasn't one.

"They'll be here soon." She glanced out the window absently as though she didn't remember then pointed suddenly at the clock in the town square. The clock said it was a quarter to noon. "We only have fifteen minutes. Maybe you should just chain me back up and leave before they catch you here with me."

"That is more definitely not an option. I'm one of the best District 13 has to offer, and I refuse to fail this or any other mission." I said, darting around the room to assess my options. The hoverplane was supposed to be here at noon to collect us where we supposed to be waiting outside the house. Struck with a sudden idea I wrenched open the window. Annie shivered, wrapping her arms around herself. "We have just enough time for you to put some clothes on, it's chilly out there."

"I don't have any anymore. They told me pets and science experiments didn't need them." She said simply from the end of the bed, her hands fiddling with the sheet. Sighing I crossed the room towards her, pretending I hadn't noticed the way she flinched away from me as I reached her. Taking the sheet I wrapped it around her tightly, knotting the corners hoping that would be enough to keep her covered for the trip back to the base. For some reason the idea of exposing her to everyone, especially Peeta, infuriated me.

"Put your arms around my neck and hold on tight." I instructed her, waiting until I was sure her grip was as strong as it could be before ducking us out of the window and onto the ledge. Scrambling up the tiles to the flat top of the roof with Annie on my back was a lot harder than I'd been anticipating, my hands scrabbling against tiles without gaining any holds. Suddenly Annie's arms tightened around my neck and, looking down, I saw the reason for her fear. Snow's men were here early. Pulling two knives out of my belt I rammed them into the roof, using them to pull myself up enough that I could grab onto the edge of the top of the roof. "Annie, I need you to climb up me onto the roof. I don't think I can pull us both up with the way my shoulder's hurting."

"That's my fault, isn't it? I'm sorry I damaged you." She said softly as she climbed up me slowly, carefully, until she finally pulled herself up to sit on the edge of the roof above me. I pulled myself up beside her, watching as she leaned out over the edge to retrieve my knives for me. She handed them back to me as though they were butterflies, beautiful and fragile, and just as out of place in her hands. I put them back in my belt without looking at her. "You hate me already, don't you?"

"No," I said honestly, looking sideways at her. Dark tangled hair flying in the wind, sea green eyes lit up by the sunlight, a look of pure innocence rested on her face. How could I ever hate someone who looked so frail my first instinct was to gather her against my chest and protect her from unseen dangers?

We waited in silence for the hoverplane, Annie grasping my elbow in fear as it made its way towards us but I assured her it was going to be alright. She took the hand Boggs offered her and entered the plane in front of me, watching from the back of the plane as I gave Boggs my account of what had happened. She looked down when I lied and said there'd been a Peacekeeper in the building that'd stabbed me with the small trident which had been only available weapon, and that I'd managed to kill him and shove him under the bed. Someone helped me out of my jacket and shirt to bandage my shoulder as best they could, Boggs tossing me an ice pack telling me to lie down until we got back to base and the shrapnel could be removed.

"Why did you lie for me?" She asked me in a whisper as I laid down across the seats next to her, her hair falling in a curtain around my face as she looked down into my eyes. "Everyone already knows I'm crazy. Why not tell them what really happened?"

"Because I've seen what they do to people they think might be a threat to the rebellion, and someone who stabs their rescue wouldn't get a warm welcome at the base. You were scared, it was a natural reaction. Believe me, I understand." I said, shifted against the ice pack.

"Katniss will be pleased, what with you and Peeta both coming back alive." Someone said as they passed me by, no doubt going to check on the star-crossed lover boy farther black in the plane where I'd seen him on my way in, unconscious and bound to a stretcher. Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes, trying not to think about Katniss and how happy she would be when we brought Peeta to her. Secretly I'd wished we'd find him already dead, or too far gone to save.

I felt someone staring at me and opened my eyes to find Annie staring at me intently at me again. She looked into my eyes then as though the world has stopped, as though no one else but the two of us existed, as though staring through a wall would be easier than looking away as she studied me.

"You love her don't you?" Annie asked, blinking away my shocked expression as though my feelings were the most obvious thing in the world. I knew from the look Boggs was giving me that there was no use lying. Even though I'd never tried to hide how I felt for Katniss, the idea that everyone potentially knew jarred me. Annie of course couldn't know any of this. Maybe she was just really good at reading people, even in her half mad state. Maybe this was how she's gotten so far in the Hunger Games before the boy from her District's death had left her stunned and swimming her way to victory.

"How can you tell?" I asked, face going red at her sad smile.

"She must be very important to you for your eyes to be so telling." She said softly, resting the tip of a finger on the edge of my left eye socket right below the brow. He hands were cold, but I relished them as they cupped my face. For the last few months I'd felt as though the heat of District 12 burning to the ground had been etched into my skin and spirit forever. "Your eyes burn with a passion deep as the Earth, but go dark around the edges were sadness threatens to overtake you for your unrequited love."

"How can you tell so much from looking at someone eyes?" I asked, Annie shrugging as she pulled away from me shivering. Sitting up I shifted my ice pack again, opening my arms to her. "Come here, you must be freezing."

"Are you sure?" She asked, moving tentatively towards me. I nodded, smiling softly as she crawled into my lap pressing tight against me. My arms folded around her, and for a minute I could dream she was Katniss, that someone whom I loved was in my arms and wanted to be close to me. Then the image faded, and it was sea green eyes and not grey looking up at me questioningly. "I don't even know your name."

"I'm Gale Hawthorne," I told her, watching the way her eyes sparkled in waves like the sea.

"A gale is a very strong wind of approximately 32 – 63 miles per hour." She rattled off like it was nothing, burying her face in the crook between my neck and shoulder. I closed my eyes, smiling. Maybe Annie wasn't crazy after all, but instead just rather quirky. Who knew how the Capital really defined things? "Gale… such a strong name for such a gentle windstorm."


	2. Chapter 2: Rendezvous

Hey all! Sorry I forgot to do this last time - its been a LONG time since I was on Fanfiction XD

Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games - if I did, Mockingjay would have been a LOT better... just saying .

The entire story is from Gale's POV, in case you haven't noticed by now. I hope you like it!

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Chapter 2: Rendez-vous

As the hoverplane began to land I went to rouse Annie from where she'd fallen asleep in my arms, but as I went to wake her I paused. With her face at rest, hair fanned out around her like a cloud, she looked so peaceful. I could only imagine how bad her life had been before I rescued her. How many nights of restful sleep had been stolen from her? How many night had she lay awake horrified while Finnick was in the arena? How many had she cried herself to sleep after they told her he'd been killed? How many times had they pumped her so full of chemicals she couldn't shut her eyes?

"Looks like you made yourself a new friend." Boggs said snapping me out of my reverie. I knew I should have been more embarrassed and yet as I lay there holding Annie, I couldn't be. "You be careful there with Finnick Odair's girl. I wouldn't put it passed him to put a trident through you."

"She already did that for him." I laughed, wincing as pain shot through me. "When will we be landing? I need medical aid pronto."

"We'll be landing momentarily, get yourself ready." He said, running off when someone yelled to secure Peeta for moving. Knowing the time had come I shook Annie's shoulder gently. Her eyes shot open at once, her entire body tensing. It wasn't until I saw how glassy her eyes were that I knew she, just like all the other victors I'd met, was haunted by her time in the arena. Taking her face in my hands I sat up with her still in my lap, whispering her name over and over again until she blinked the deadness away.

"Gale, the wind storm… right, I've been rescued. Thank you for that by the way, in case I didn't say it before. After all the Capital scientists did to my brain to try and make me capable of being controlled to use against Finnick like they used Peeta against Katniss." She said hitching the sheet up more securely around her chest, hands nervously flattening her hair as best she could.

"He's been going mad with worry about you." I said, wondering at the look on her face if that was the wrong thing to say. Annie bit her lip, face going pale. Taking her hands I kissed her forehead, Boggs shooting me a warning look I chose to disregard. Hard as it might have been for him to understand I meant nothing by it other than to try and calm her nerves. I knew I was probably out of line, and that if Finnick found out he would in fact spear me just like Boggs had said, but right then that didn't matter. All that mattered was the look on Annie's face, and how one kiss to the forehead from me seemed to calm her fears. "It'll be alright, believe me. As soon as he sees you his whole world will be put right I'm sure."

"Thank you." She said softly, flinging her arms around my neck. "Can you carry me? I think I'm too excited to stand."

"Of course," I said, Boggs giving me a look that was clearly meant to signify I shouldn't push my injury or my luck with Finnick. Shrugging it off I swept Annie up into my arms, heading off the hoverplane right behind Peeta and his entourage, the medical squad right inside the door making me put Annie down so that they could help me onto a medical table for them to look at my shoulder. Annie stood by looking concerned, helping me with my buttons so I could take my shirt off as the doctors prepared the instruments to pull out the trident.

"I'm so sorry." She said as she saw all the blood, reaching out to touch my shoulder. I pushed her hand away gently, shaking my head at her as she stepped back. Grabbing onto one of the doctors she halted him, shaking his coat sleeve. "Can I stay with him until you take the… shrapnel out?"

"No, you need to go to Finnick, he'll be waiting for you." I said, reaching out a shaking hand to push her hair behind her ear. She caught my hand and held it against her cheek, the sparkle in her eyes reminding me for a moment when Katniss had volunteered for Prim to go into the Hunger Games. Then the image passed and it was Annie standing before me looking a cross between bemusement and worry. "Go to him Annie, I'm not as important as him."

"No, you're a different kind of important." She said cryptically, smiling softly at me as a nurse took my shirt off the rest of the way. "You're the first person who hasn't called me crazy in a long time, even if I am."

"That's what friends are for." I said, poking the tip of her nose. Her laugh caught me off guard, so light and airy, almost like a school girl. And then the doctors were dragging her out so they could start operating. Then caught a glimpse of Katniss , my stomach twisted. She looked so relieved to find me alive, if wounded, calling out my name in a way that tore at me heart before a nurse shoved her out of the way denying her access.

"Finnick!" My head shot up at the cry, almost inhuman in its ecstasy. Suddenly glass doors were the worst thing in the world to me, because I could see every moment as Annie ran down the hall towards Finnick. As the two of them embraced, kissed, fell backwards into a wall together laughing like no one else was around a sharp pain shot through my entire being. I knew at once it wasn't from the doctor pulling out the shrapnel but because of the look of utter bliss on their faces as they collided, as two became one in a moment so intimate and private I immediately felt bad I had witnessed it. Looking at Katniss watching them I knew she felt the same way I did, that it was just as hard for her to see real love and not want it with every fiber of her being. If only she could make up her mind about me and Peeta.

Just then Boggs approaches her where she stands near Haymitch, no doubt telling her where she can find her poor pathetic lover. As expected of a star-crossed lover she immediately tears down the hall and into an adjacent room so I can see all of the action unfold, my stomach clenching painfully as I realize I have to watch, that I can't look away. Even if I hate the idea of their getting back together, I know I have to watch, to know what happens first hand. It's both a blessing and a curse as the doctors bandage me up that I can see every reaction. And what I see, I don't understand.

Peeta's fingers curl around her throat and I scream, moving at once to get down off the table but the doctors are swifter, blocking my exit. No matter how hard I struggled they grip me like iron, several dozen hands on me at once to hold me back until finally someone gives up and jabs a needle into my arm to sedate me. The last things I see before I slip under is dark hair looking at me through the door, a hand pressed to the glass…

But were those eyes that looked back at me sea green or grey?


	3. Chapter 3: Memories

Hey all! Sorry this update wasn't as fast as the one between the other two chapters, but things have been so utterly busy here I haven't had time to breathe let alone write until tonight!

Once again, this is from Gale's POV as is the rest of the story. I don't own anything but my right to use the English language and write fiction that pleases me, and hopefully you, my readers.

Thanks for the comments! The few of you reading this and commenting are great Onwards to chapter three!

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Chapter 3: Memories

"Windstorms aren't fragile, you know." Glancing up from where I lay on my hospital gurney I grinned weakly. Annie was standing in the doorway, a look of childish whimsy and nervousness on her face. She was clad in a simple cotton grey dress that went down to her knees and small black slippers, hair pulled back in braids unmistakably weaved by Mrs. Everdeen's hands. I held a shaking hand out to her and she rushed to my side, pressing a kiss to the palm of it before pressing it against her cheek. "They wouldn't let me see you once they'd sedated you, and then Finnick and I started trying to catch up but all I could think about was you in pain while the doctors pulled that trident out of your shoulder…"

"It's alright, everyone bought my excuse about an attacker. You don't have to worry." Her eyes, like the ocean, were flowing with color and wet with tears on the brink about to fall. Reaching up my free hand I ever so gently brushed them aside, swallowing passed the lump forming in my throat. She was so tragic, so sad, and yet so beautiful it almost hurt to look at her. How could so many people have mistreated her? "Even if they somehow found out I would protect you, alright? Do you really think I'd just hand you over to the wolves?"

"No," she said softly, "I trust you."

"Good. Friends should trust each other, and we're friends now aren't we?" She nodded, letting go of my hand and standing back as I swung my legs over the edge of my cot. Stretching I watched as a soft tinge of pink blossomed in her cheeks, smirking slightly when she looked away while I put on the shirt hanging next to my bed. "Shouldn't you be with Finnick? He'll be worried sick about you by now."

"He's down with the Beetle looking at special tridents." She said, twirling her finger in her hair. I laughed, thinking of Beetee behind his glasses and how he did sort of look like an exotic bug. Suddenly her face went pale, smile fading as she bit the edge of her lip looking solemn. "He… asked me to stay here, in the hospital, and wait for him. I don't have clearance to go with him into the weaponry. Too crazy, might accidentally hurt someone or ruin something they said. Too much of a risk, they told me... like always, that's me, the mad Hunger Games victor through and through."

"Good thing too, or I never would have gotten you to myself." I winked, grinning ear to ear as her gently laugher filled the room. So often it was filled with screams of pain or sobs of anguish, too often, but now Annie was here to fix all of that. "Would you like to go down to the dining hall with me while you wait? Have you eaten yet?"

"There's food?" She asked in a hopeful voice, a pang of hurt shooting through my heart. In the harsh light of the hospital I took a good look at her face. There was beauty, yes, but under it all were the same signs of emaciation that Katniss had born after the games, that most of the poorer people in the Seam had worn before coming here to District 13. Had they not been feeding her where they had he trapped in her house in Victor's Village?

"Didn't the people who came to visit you in your home feed you?" I asked, half afraid to know the answer. Her eyes stared hard into mine as she chewed on her bottom lip, watching me watching her grow paler by the second as old memories gripped her. She let out a whimper. "Annie…"

"Can't go back… can't let me… No more, please, not again!" She said in a voice so high pitched and breathy it didn't even sound like it should be human, her hands leaping to the sides of her head clutching violently at her braids. Without warning she collapsed on her knees, wailing, tears flooding down her face. Sliding quickly off the cot and onto the ground, pulling her into my arms to try and calm her. Prim rushed in at that moment, no doubt scared by the scream, a sedative needle in her hand ready to jab into some part of girl in my arm's body. My look over the top of Annie's head was the only thing that stopped her, and as Annie began calm and quiet, she nodded to me and headed back out the door.

"Annie, listen to my voice… you're in District 13 with me, Gale, like the windstorm remember?" I said softly and clearly to her, kissing the top of her braids. Slowly she tilted her tear stained face up to mine, eyes full of fear and a distant recognition. Her bottom lip trembled. "What terrified you?"

"The people who used to come visit me… what they did… every time I think about it I want to scream. I get afraid they'll be back with their needles and scalpels and finger pressing deep in all the wrong places…" Her eyes start to grow dark again but I press a kiss to her cheek, calling her back from those dark places I was afraid to lose her to again. She blinked, cleared her throat, wrapped her arms around me and started to speak again. "I don't know the last time they fed me real food. They mostly just filled me with liquids with vitamins, enough sustenance to keep me running but not enough to keep me strong. I can't remember what food should taste like… "

"Then let me remind you." I said, standing up with her in my arms. She pillowed her head against my shoulder, burying her face in my neck, breath hot on my skin as I walked. Annie wrapped her arms around herself, but whether it was to warm herself or to ward off the demons haunting her I couldn't be sure.

"Coconuts used to be my favorites you know." She said suddenly as we rounded a corner. I looked down at her where she lay in my arms absently undoing her braids. Inside I smiled; her hair was much better down. The last thing I wanted was to look at Annie and see Katniss. I didn't want to think of Annie like that. I didn't want to associate her with personal pain and heartbreak. "They remind me of home. They grew on the trees down by the beach where I'd watch the boats and wait for Finnick and the others to return from fishing."

"Maybe they'll serve some here one day." I said, knowing that was a very feeble wish. The rations here were unimaginative most days and tasteless, made to fatten us up and keep us strong. Fruits like coconut with a light and subtle flavor weren't in the cook's vocabularies. I set Annie down on her feet and led her to the line where she took a tray, a few people muttering about her behind their hands as she lifted it up to examine it, eyes sparkling with the flame of curiosity and too much time locked away alone in her torture chamber of a home. I shot the people behind us death glances and they dispersed, coughing loudly.

"You don't have to do that you know." She said suddenly, resting her forehead against my shoulder from where she stood beside me. "Everyone expects me to be crazy, they've heard the rumors. Glaring at a few people won't change everyone's opinions."

"No, but it might stop them from doing it so openly. They should be welcoming you and trying to make you feel good about being here after what you went through, not shunning you and making you feel like an outcast." I said loudly, not caring who heard me. Glancing over my shoulder I saw a few people who stood nearest us looked a bit ashamed of themselves for whispering before I turned back to face Annie. "You're a person, Annie, not a science experiment or a form of entertainment. I just want people to treat you how you deserve to be treated."

"It's part of the human condition not to get what you most want." I stayed silent at that, thinking of Katniss as I led Annie to an empty table. Inside my chest my heart contracted, pained. "You're thinking about her again, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I am." I said, knowing with Annie it was safe to be honest. She looked sadly into my eyes, and for a moment I could see right into her soul before she blinked, and then all I could see was my own agonized face in her eyes reflected back at me. "Have you heard anything about the situation with Peeta?"

"No, security risk, remember?" She laughed softly. Looking down at her food she cocked an eyebrow, poking her pile of mashed potatoes with a finger looking displeased. She wiped her finger on her dress. "What… is it?"

"It's best not to ask questions and just shovel it in before it can bite you back." Looking up I forced a smile as Annie jumped up and embraced Finnick, both of them clutching to one another as though the world would end if they let go. Swallowing I looked down at my food and forced myself to go through the motions even though I'd lost my appetite. "Has Gale been taking good care of you?"

"Yes, he's my friend. He stared down the people that were whispering about me until they left us alone." She said honestly she sat back down to her lunch, her lover shooting me a thankful look as he settled down beside her. My heart plummeted as I watched Finnick and Annie. Together they couldn't help but be the perfect couple, kissing in between bites, Finnick feeding her off her plate with his fork, Annie resting her head on his shoulder with her eyes closed as he hummed to her a love song from their District.

Finally, unable to stand another minute of being reminded how alone I felt I stood to leave, Annie shooting me an almost hurt and frantic look. Her hand left Finnick's and grasped at mine where it clutched the edge of my tray, Finnick looking between us rapidly. I pulled back, clearing my throat.

"I have things I need to be doing now that I'm up and about. Besides you only needed me until Finnick came back and now he's here to take care of you, you'll be fine. I have things I need to go take care of." I said sternly, eyes fixing on a spot on the wall above her head. I couldn't look at her, with her hair fanned out around her face still lightly waved from braids she should never have worn, sea green eyes alive with waves of emotion as she stared me down knowing there was more to why I was leaving her with her lover than what I'd said. "I'll see you all at dinner I'm sure."

"Take care Gale, and thanks for watching after Annie for me." Finnick smiled, holding out his hand to me. I shook it, eyes finally flicking to Annie. She was staring at the floor, and my heart sank, knowing she must be feeling like I was glad to be rid of her what with the way I was acting.

Still I forced myself to toss my tray and leave the dining hall, leave her behind with the boy she's no doubt dreamed out through nights of sleep deprived torture. I headed back to the hospital, sure that was where I would find Katniss watching through the glass as the doctors tried to help Peeta. At least the pain she caused me was familiar to me whereas anything could happen with Annie.

Annie was like a game maker in my own personal Hunger Games.


	4. Chapter 4: Crazy

Hey all! Sorry for the HUGE gap between the last chapter and this one! I know I usually update faster but with finals being next week things have been crazy and today was the first time I could really sit down and finish the chapter.

I hope you enjoy it!

Since I'm going chronologically, this chapter is mostly Katniss (Kat-bitch) and Gale, with a little of my own inventions thrown it. I hope you like it, and since Spring break is soon, expect more frequent updates!

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Chapter Four: Crazy

I never expected to find her sleeping. When Prim let me in I assumed she would still be awake, perhaps a little tired, but still conscious. I'd meant to come to her as soon as I left Annie, but on my way been sidetracked by my doctor. Apparently I should have been confined to bed, not up and walking around, so I was just getting to Katniss now.

As I made my way quietly to her bed I held my breath, afraid of waking her only for her to tell me to leave. I run my fingers over the bruises on her neck, swallowing hard against the lump forming in my throat, my other hand curling into a fist. How could Peeta have tried to strangle her after how many times he'd professed love to her, hijacked brain or no? Thankfully Haymitch had thought I deserved being kept in the loop and explained the situation to me. Part of me couldn't believe it. I needed to see it with my own eyes first, maybe. Leaning down I kiss her right at the top of her nose between her eyes, turning and leaving as softly as I'd entered.

I thought it best to avoid Annie for the time being. The last thing I wanted was for Finnick to start feeling like I was a threat. Whenever she stopped by the house Mum told her I was out, bless her. I could tell from the way she spoke to Annie those times she swung by to see me that she wasn't quite sure why she was lying for me. All that mattered to me was that she did. After a while, Annie stopped dropping by altogether.

When the list comes around for people who want to go with Katniss into the mountains, I sign up at once, deciding it would be better to see her now than continue to avoid the inevitable. But before I leave I go to see Peeta, to see for myself if it's as bad as they say. What I find is worse, a raving madman ready to rip throats out at the mere mention of her. It was then I knew I'd lost her forever, that I never had a chance against him, this boy with the bread she'd always secretly held on a pedestal. I was always just the confidant, the boy with a bow and arrow that could never hold a place in her heart.

I find her the next afternoon after her hunt plucking birds and sit down to join her.0

"Any change we'll get to eat these?" I say, feeling dumb instantly. What kind of small talk was this supposed to be?

"Yeah. Most go to the camp kitchen, but they expect me to give a couple to whoever I'm staying with tonight." She says looking grim. "For keeping me."

"Isn't the honor of the thing enough?" I ask, almost smiling. Then the pain loving her has brought me erupts in my chest again from being close to her and I don't smile. Instead I look down at the dead bird in my lap instead. I envy it. At least she didn't toy with it before she killed it.

"You'd think. But word's gotten out that mockingjays are hazardous to your health." She says. I think she means it as a joke when she says it, but I don't laugh. I know only too well what harboring a mockingjay will get you, and it's never been good for me.

For a moment I can't speak, fighting past the lump forming in my throat. Finally, almost without thinking I blurt out "I saw Peeta yesterday. Through the glass."

"What'd you think?" She asks, her tone guarded, instincts right on point as usually. Always the hunter Katniss could sense the weakness before her and buckled to defend from the attack she thought was coming.

"Something selfish." I said simply, swallowing. This was turning out to be a lot harder than I was expecting.

"That you don't have to be jealous of him anymore?" Her tone was so abrasive I actually flinched, closing my eyes against the pure emotions running rampant between us, anger and jealousy and anguish.

"No. Just the opposite." I say, instinctively reaching to pull the feather caught in her hair out. As my fingers touch her I almost stop breathing. It's been so long since I felt like I was allowed to hold her, to even touch her hand or share a smile with her. Suddenly I want so much more than a smile. "I thought… I'll never be able to compete with that. No matter how much pain I'm in." I look away, twirling the feather and feeling just as fragile as it. "I don't stand a chance if he doesn't get better. You'll never be able to let him go. You'll always feel wrong about being with me."

"The way I always felt wrong about kissing him because of you." I looked up at her then, full of hope and fear.

"If I thought that was true, I could almost live with the rest of it." I said, holding her gaze, wanting her to feel the truth in my words.

"It is true." She said, her tone genuine. "But so is what you said about Peeta."

And yet after we drop off the birds and head to the woods for kindling Katniss practically threw herself into my arms, clutching at me as if her life depended on it. Unable to help myself, to be noble and live with the fact that she'd never really be mine, I give in to how I'm feeling. My lips find her bruises neck leaving a trail of kisses up it to her lips, claiming them. Just when I felt like everything was going right she changed, her kiss intensifying as if she was trying to steal my soul and claim me as her own. As if I wasn't a human being to her but something she could consume. I pull away but she lunges forward, reaching for me, and for a moment I wasn't with her. This isn't Katniss who wants to kiss and consume me. This is the version of Katniss that war and the Capital and Peeta have made her.

"Katniss," I say, watching her return to her senses. She touches her scar and I know she's back and confused. This reassures me. "Now kiss me." I say, leaning in and pressing my lips gently to hers. This time, I feel nothing, like a shell of myself. We're two shells kissing each other without feeling it. I pull back and examine her face, afraid to examine my own thoughts. "What's going on in your head?"

"I don't know." She says honestly, and my heart sinks. I should have expected this.

"Then it's like kissing someone who's drunk. It doesn't count." Turning on my heel I scoop up kindling and hand it to her, trying to forget that we'd just kissed. But I can't forget. My lips burn from it, hands wishing it was her body and not this rough timber in my hands, but I don't look at her or reach out again. I can't bear rejection again.

"How do you know? Have you kissed someone's who's drunk?" Katniss asks me. I smile at the light but unmistakable hint of jealousy in her tone but try not to show it.

"No." I say honestly. "But it's not hard to imagine."

"So, you've never kissed any other girls?" She asks. Wounded I look back at her, raising an eyebrow. Did she really find me so unappealing as to think no one else would want me?

"I didn't say that. You know, you were only twelve when we met. And a real pain besides. I did have a life outside of hunting with you." I say, wishing instantly that I hadn't. Other than caring for her family, being with me was the only life she'd had. To my relief Katniss doesn't seem offended.

"Who did you kiss? And where?"

"Too many to remember." I say, knowing I sounded like I was bragging but not caring. Part of me wanted her to be as jealous at the thought of me with anyone else than I was of her with Peeta. Than I was seeing sea green eyes… but I couldn't think of that, not now, not with Katniss here. "Behind the school, on the slag heap, you name it."

"So when did I become so special? When they carted me off to the Capital?" She sounds so sarcastic that I actually want to smack her for thinking so little of me. For thinking I like everyone else only had found her interesting after she became something unreachable, before the mockingjay erupted out of her.

"No. About six months before that. Right after New Year's. We were in the Hob, eating some slop of Greasy Sae's. And Darius was teasing you about trading a rabbit for one of his kisses. And I realized… I minded." In my head I go back to that day, feel the rage I felt watching the bastard hit on her. I can almost feel my fists clench in remembrance. I'd wanted to much to hurt him.

"Darius was just joking around." She says, brushing it off.

"Probably. Although you'd be the last one to figure out he wasn't." I say, blushing. She really didn't understand her ability to get under people's skins, into their hearts. "Take Peeta. Take me. Or even Finnick. I was starting to worry he had his eye on you, but he seems back on track now."

I think of Annie, of sea green eyes, of the way I've been avoiding her, and pain erupts in my chest. The last thing I wanted was to hurt her. But, with her attachment to Finnick…

"You don't know Finnick if you think he's love me." She says, bringing me back to the present, to her presence.

"I know he was desperate. That makes people do all kinds of crazy things." When I say it, I know she'll think I was directing it at her. And maybe part of it was.

But mostly, I was talking about myself.


	5. Chapter 5: The Wedding

Hey all! Hope this update finds you well.

Disclaimer (I always forget these things… ugh I need a beta): I don't own the characters, and some of the dialogue is taken directly from _Mockingjay_ for the sake of being accurate [like last chapter, and this one later on]

I'm skipping a bit of plot here to make things go faster, but it is talked about, just not how it is in the book exactly. There was just a whole lot of plot development for MJ in here that I don't need to tell my story. I hope you like it and be warned… there's a little something unexpected towards the end ;)

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Chapter 5: The Wedding

"Annie, this is pointless. He's not going to wake up."

"You don't know that."

"They've got him under so many sedatives there's no way he's going to come to for you."

"He'll wake up eventually, and when he does I want to be here."

"Fine… I have training to go to. I'll come back to check on you later. I love you."

"I love you too."

Blearily I shifted, knowing without opening my eyes that I was back in a hospital bed. Someone had my hand between two of theirs squeezing gently. It was soothing somehow.

"I know you're awake." I opened my eyes a fraction, not the least bit surprised to see Annie sitting on the edge of my bed. I looked down at where she held my hand, then back to her face. She just smiled brighter than ever, sea green eyes flashing. "You've been very naughty apparently."

"I don't remember," I said, pushing myself up into a sitting position. Annie bit her lip, looking away. "What did I do?"

"After Katniss got shot… you lost it." She said simply, letting go of my hand. The absence of her holding me back to reality jarred me slightly. Without thinking I leaned my head forward against her shoulder, instantly regretting it. She loved Finnick. Any contact with me was probably hard on her. I made to pull back but she shook her head, pulling me back into her arms stroking my hair. "No one thought to try and stop you because no one thought you'd snap. Within an instant you'd shot the soldier that shot Katniss and pulled her into your arms. That's when the workers in the Nut turned on the Capital soldiers, but other than that there wasn't much fighting. Eveyrone else sat by and watched."

"I'm not surprised I snapped." I said gently, swallowing. "I'm always doing crazy things around her. She makes me lose all common sense."

"Love does that to people." Annie said, kissing my forehead softly. I froze, teeth clenched. My heart might have stopped for all I know as she let me go and slid off the bed heading for the door. All I knew for sure was that there had been more love in that one chaste kiss than in any of the ones I'd stolen from Katniss. "Can I ask you a favor?"

"Anything," I said at once, looking up at her. Her eyes glowed in the dim light from the hall, flashing with emotions.

"Finnick… asked me to marry him." She said softly, looking down at her feet. My heart sank but I refused to acknowledge it, dredging up the required congratulatory remarks I knew I had to give her. "Thank you. I was wondering… if you would be willing to give me away."

"What?" I must have heard her wrong. She couldn't have just asked me that. I'd never even had a claim to her, but she wanted me to give her away? I closed my eyes, leaning my head into my hands breathing deeply. "You want ME to give you away?"

"You're really the only friend I have here and it's not like I have any family to speak of. You rescued me Gale. I don't know why, but I feel like we've been bound together." She said, looking up at me shyly. A thousand thoughts swam inside my head, but none of them were good things to say under the circumstances. "Please, Gale? Will you do this for me?"

"…Of course Annie." I said, trying to sound happy, forcing on a smile. Her grin was genuine as was her laugh. I drunk them in, wishing for a moment they could make me happy. Shouldn't knowing she'd be happy be enough for me? Then again, knowing Katniss would be happy with Peeta never did a thing for me. How was this any different? I was about to lose another friend.

"Thank you so much!" She smiled, dashing off down the hall before I could respond. Flopping back on the bed I stared at the ceiling, wondering why it seemed every girl I tried to get close to ran the other direction.

"I should check on Katniss." I sighed, sliding out of bed and unhooking my morphling drip. No doubt she would be in the hospital after being shot I headed to the other wing, walking in the door. I'm a little surprised to see Johanna sitting on Katniss's bed like they were sisters, or at the very least, friends. She gives me the creeps.

"Your cousin's not afraid of me," She says, scooting off the bed walking towards me, knocking my leg with her hip. "Are you, gorgeous?"

"Terrified," I mouth, smile faltering when Katniss winces in laughter. Rushing forward I touch her face, trying to sooth her. "Easy. You've got to stop running straight into trouble."

"I know. But someone blew up a mountain." Her tone is accusatory, eyes boring into mine.

"You think I'm heartless." I say, leaning forward to search her face. Maybe she's right. Maybe I didn't have a heart. If I did, maybe then I would know how to love someone who could actually love me back.

"I know you're not." She said honestly, touching my cheek gently. "But I won't tell you it's okay."

I pulled back, disgusted. Did she really think I'd wanted to kill people, or that I was doing this for any reason other than because it was necessary? She really did think me heartless. "Katniss, what difference is there, really, between crushing our enemy in a mine or blowing them out of the sky with one of Beetee's arrows? The result is the same."

"I don't know." She said, touching her scar. Confusion, as usual, seemed to be the state she'd lived in since she'd been in the arena. "We were under attack in Eight, for one thing. The hospital was under attack."

"Yes, and those hoverplanes came from District Two. So, by taking them out, we prevent further attacks." I reasoned, hating myself almost as much as I hated her for making me explain. I knew there was no way to justify what I'd done. Did she really think I could sleep well at the end of the day knowing what I'd done killed people? Sometimes all that kept me going was knowing my brothers and sisters would be safer once the Capital was brought down, that my mother would be safe. That people I cared about would be safe. That Katniss would be safe.

"But that kind of thinking... you could turn it into an argument for killing anyone at any time." She said slowly, not looking at me as she spoke. "You could justify sending kids into the Hunger Games to prevent the districts from getting out of line."

"I don't buy that," I said simply, realizing at once I would never be able to make her see my side of things. Katniss would only ever be able to see things from one perspective.

"I do. It must be those trips to the arena." She said.

"Fine. We know how to disagree," I said, running a hand through my hair. I hadn't come here to fight, and yet somehow I'd picked one. Wanting to go out on a good note I took a deep breath. "We always have. Maybe that's good. Between you and me, we've got District Two now."

"Really?" Her face is hopeful for just a second beore darkness creeps into her eyes. "Was there fighting after I was shot?"

"Not really." I said, thinking back to what Annie had told me. All I remembered were flashed of the man who'd shot Katniss falling to the ground, the gun warm in my hand, and pulling her into my arms. "The workers in the Nut turned on the capital soldiers. The rebels just sat by and watched. Actually, the whole country just sat by and watched."

"Well, that's what they do best." She said, flipping over onto her side. I knew I'd been dismissed. For a moment I wanted to reach out and touch her shoulder, pull her into my arms, something… but knowing I shouldn't I turned and walked away, heading out into the hall.

"There you are!" Plutarch said when he saw me clapping his hands. "I just heard the big news from Annie. So you're going to be giving her away?"

"I suppose so." I said, forcing on a smile. "It's great about the wedding, isn't it?"

"Exemplary. This place needs a reason to have some fun!" He said, hurrying passed me no doubt on his way to make more plans.

I have to admit as I look around the wedding as people file in that the entire place feels different. Simple touches really; just a few decorations and a small choir completely changed the place. It feels festive, happy. It almost for a moment feels like home. And then the music starts and I head back to where Annie is standing in a flowing green dress I vaguely recognize as belonging to Katniss wringing her hands.

"Not getting cold feet are you?" I ask gently, taking her hands in both of mine. She opens her mouth to speak but closes it shut tight right away, shaking her head. Letting go of one hand I tilt her chin up looking into her eyes. "Annie, please, what's wrong? This is your wedding. You're supposed to be happy ."

"I am happy, I'm finally going to get to be with Finnick for real. But… I'm also sad at what I'll be giving up." She said softly, taking a deep breath. Before I can gauge what's going on she's kissing me, her lips warm and soft against mine and I'm in heaven. The bliss is gone almost as soon as it started when she pulls back, tears glittering in her eyes. "I'm sorry, but I needed to know before I sign myself off to Finnick. I love him, I do… but I feel like I could have loved you if things were different. And like you could have maybe loved me."

"Now there's nothing to hold you back." I say softly, trying my best not to sound bitter and finding it easier than I expected. She smiled softly, pressing a hand to my cheek as the wedding march starts. She loops her arm through my elbow as we enter the room, people sighing and gasping when they see her. Annie looks gorgeous, her joyous smile genuine as I hand her over to Finnick and go to sit down, watching as they go through the ceremony and say 'I do'.

And even though I can't believe it… I found myself happy for her. There was no way I could deny she was fully in love with Finnick, that she wanted nothing more than to be his wife. And somehow my smile was real; somehow I could honestly tell her I was happy for her as we all headed to the reception. She was happy, and that was enough for me.

At least one of us was brave enough to say something before it was too late, to acknowledge that there might have been something between us if thing were different. But, since they aren't, I have to be content watching her with Finnick and knowing she was, for a whole moment, mine and mine alone.

That was something I'd never had with Katniss and probably never would.

Then Greasy Sae is pulling me out onto the dance floor, and for a while I can forget about myself and about Katniss and Annie to just dance and be free. For a minute it feels like I'm flying far away where nothing can hurt me. For a minute I don't feel the pain. And then I see Katniss out of the corner of my eye dancing with Prim, a smile plastered on her face, and I'm back to reality.

"Excuse me," I say to my partner, and disengage myself from the dancing, moving towards the edge of the room and an empty chair just as Finnick leads Annie out onto the floor for a special dance. I close my eyes, listening to the music, to my friend's gleeful laughter over the music, wondering if things will ever feel natural again. If things will ever feel alright or if I can ever really be happy again.

"My wife would like to request a dance with her best friend." Looking up I see Finnick standing over me with a glass of punch and a piece of cake on small plate. I blink at him, not sure what to say. "Go on, Annie's waiting."

"Are you sure?" I ask slowly, searching his eyes to see if he suspects anything. He smiled gently, almost sadly at me, as he sits down beside me.

"Look, I don't know what's gone on between you and Annie since you rescued her… but I don't need to know." He said, shrugging. Shocked I watching he take a drink looking out over the dancers and people getting cake. "Annie's had a hard run. I know we all have, really, but that doesn't change things. I want to make her happy. And so do you, for whatever reason. She wants to be near you, so I'll let it be. I know I have her heart. Nothing could make me doubt that. So, go dance with her. Don't make my wife wait forever."

"You'll make a great husband for her." I say genuinely, patting his shoulder as I stand. Without a word I sift through the dancers until I find Annie standing beside the cake looking at it, gleefully brushing her fingers over the frosting so lightly it wouldn't even show a mark. As I come near her she turns, her smile widening.

"Congratulations," I say as I wheel her out onto the dance floor, Annie resting her head on my shoulder as we dance. "Finnick is a great guy."

"I know. He makes me very happy." She said softly, closing her eyes as I turned her again and against to the music. We danced in silence for a while, but when the song ended we didn't pull apart. Her hands balled in my shirt. "Just because I'm married… you won't stop being my friend will you?"

"Never," I say, and I know it's the truth. Taking her face in my hands I look into her eyes. Sea green and smiling, and I love them. I can see my own grey eyes reflecting back at me in hers. "I'll always be your friend Annie, the very best that I can be. I'll always be here when you need me."

"My own little windstorm," She smiled, curtsying to me before heading off through the crowd towards her new husband. As I left the party her words stuck with me.

No one had ever called me theirs before.


	6. Chapter 6: Breeze

So… I am a giant bucket of fail, and I'm so sorry for that. I left the copy of _Mockingjay _I've been using as a guide for this fic at college over spring break and just got back to start this back up. So sorry for the gap and lack of nummy ficishness! I shall try to do better in furture, and since I don't have another break coming up until summer, that should be HIGHLY possible. Haha!

Things are starting to pick up in the story as we near the end of teh actual text of _Mockingjay. _I can't WAIT until I reach the end of the written book and can just follow the ideas I have lined up for how things would progress _after_ the book ends! *does a happy writing dance* Now, to just GET there!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Hunger Games, and some of the dialogue in this chapter comes directly from _Mockingjay_ just so you know.

I hope you enjoy this installment and I will greatly appreciate any and all reviews!

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Chapter 6: Breeze

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It wasn't until after I'd left the reception that I realized the truth. I could be Annie's windstorm and Katniss's hunting partner or break from Peeta. And yet, they would never be mine. No part of them could belong to me.

"Gale, do you have a second?" I turned to find Haymitch right behind me. I stop walking, but don't move back. Right now, that's the best I can do. Right now, I don't feel particularly social. "I just sent Katniss off to see Peeta."

"Why should I care?" I snapped, wincing at how defensive I sounded. He clapped a hand to my shoulder, probably trying to comfort me, but I batted it away tensing my jaw. "What do you want?"

"Peeta's never going to be the same. Sure, we have him to the point he won't try to strangle her every single time he sees her, but that's about it." He said slowly, giving me a searching look. I tried not to give too much away, avoiding his gaze. It was one thing for Annie to look into my eyes and know me, but I couldn't stand the thought of anyone else even trying to read my inner thoughts. "You're her main support system you know."

"Yeah, I know." I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "And I know somewhere inside her heart I'm there. She loves me, just… not enough."

"I know it has to be hard on you, but she's going to need you soon. Don't disappoint her." He said, turning to leave. His words sunk into my brain like a catalyst, sparking a dangerous fire. Grabbing Haymitch by the shoulder I spun him around, shoving him into the wall. He looked shocked but didn't try to throw me off.

"I don't want to be her toy anymore. I'm tired of her taking everything I've got to offer and leaving me with nothing but empty words that if Peeta wasn't falling apart she might be able to love me." I snarled, tightening my grip on his collar. I tried not to think about how this looked or how desperate I looked in his eyes. He had no right to ask anything of me, let alone look down on me. "Disappoint her? That's all she's ever done to me."

Letting go of his collar I strode quickly down the corridor away from him breathing heavy. When I got back to my family's apartment no one there, as expected, and for that I was grateful. Dropping to my knees inside the door of my room I allowed myself a moment to let the agony of it all wash over me before blacking out.

The next morning I throw myself into training trying to forget. Haymitch's words, Katniss's love of Peeta, Annie's marriage to Finnick and her kiss all float inside my head calling out my name, trying to tempt me into crumbling apart but I ignore them. I say it like a mantra to myself as I train: 'Keep moving, don't think, you can do this'.

But as training ends and I head off to lunch with a few other soldiers, as soon as the action stops, they assault my brain again. Sickened, I skip lunch and head out to hunt, imagining the wild geese and turkeys I find with human faces on them. An arrow for Haymitch, three for Peeta, one for President Snow, it goes on like this for nearly an hour. On a branch above me a bird sings dolefully.

"This one's for Katniss." As the words escape my lips and the arrow flies, I feel my heart skip a beat. The mockingjay falls to the ground with a human scream I nearly throw up. Dropping to my knees I pull the arrow out and pull it against my chest, breathing hard. Had I really grown to resent her so much?

If I did, it was her fault for toying with me. But it wasn't true. I could never hate her no matter how much she tormented me. Even though she held me at arm's length, out of reach but close enough to make me long for her, I couldn't hate her. No matter what she did, there was always a degree of love there, even now.

I buried the mockingjay I'd shot and headed back to District 13 with the other game, dropping it off at the kitchens before heading back for more training. Just as I start to get warmed up I see something out of the corner of my eye and grow still: Annie.

"What are you doing? You don't have clearance to be out here, get back inside!" One of the guards says, shoving her back towards the doors. She lets out a whimper and takes a shaking step back, tripping, falling to the ground. Cursing I run over, but the guard grabbed my arm to hold me back. "You're not involved, stay out of this."

"See the communicator on my wrist? I'd let go of me if I were you, damn it!" I snapped, shoving him away from me. He grumbled and went back to his post obviously pissed but knowing better than to argue with me since I obviously had higher standing than him. Annie calmed when she saw me, throwing her arms around my neck. "Are you alright?"

"Just a little scared, that's all. I didn't know I was allowed outside." She said softly, pressing herself flush up against me. Conflicted I placed a hand on her hair stroking it gently, but otherwise tried to pull back from her. She seemed to sense my discomfort but just pulled me closer.

"Why did you come out here?" I asked, trying to keep my voice even and failing. She pulled back, sea green eyes piercing right through me.

"I missed you." She said simply, resting her head back on my shoulder. Taking a deep breath I sighed, watching the recruits on the track shooting us curious looks as they ran passed. Standing I pulled her to her feet as well, holding her away from me by her shoulders. "What's wrong?"

"You can't do this Annie, think of how this looks." I said gesturing out at everyone else but her eyes never once left my face. Her bottom lip trembled slightly. "Everyone knows you just married Finnick. You should be with him, not out here with me."

"But you're mine, my windstorm, I told you that." She said insistently, taking my hand. Even though I knew I should, I couldn't pull away from her. Melting into my warmth she twined her arms around my waist holding me tight, my arms instinctively closing around her back. "You're my best friend Gale. I can't lose you."

"You won't," I said, closing my eyes. Sea green eyes stared in my mind, soothing me. Unlike Katniss she never took more than I could part with at any given time and always gave me back just the same amount of herself in return. Annie knew how to love someone else. I could only hope Katniss might learn how to do the same one day.

We sat and talked for a while before she had to go inside to find Finnick and head to lunch, waving goodbye as I headed back to training. I expected someone to pounce on me as soon as she was out of earshot, to accuse me of trying to break up another couple. Rumors had already been circulating since I'd first arrived at District 13 that I was trying to break up Peeta and Katniss to have the Mockingjay all to myself. I didn't need further speculation that I was trying to do the same to Annie and Finnick's marriage. Much to my surprise no one said a word all through training, and as I headed in for dinner I started to feel better.

A few weeks later I found myself ready to talk to Katniss again, waiting for her to get done with her and Johanna's recently started training for us to head to lunch. As we sit down to lunch it twinges my heart to see Finnick holding onto Annie's hand so tightly, so lovingly. I've begun to notice that Annie's a different person around him, whether due to incandescent happiness or something else, I can't tell. I can tell from Katniss's face that she sees it too, watching them together. I try to ignore it.

And then Peeta shows up, chained, with guards and a lunch tray. I feel Katniss tense beside me and place a hand on hers under the table trying to sooth her. It does, but not by much.

"Peeta! It's so nice to see you out… and about." Delly says from my other side, trying to sound happy to see him. None of us look it but her.

"What's with the fancy bracelets?" Johanna said sarcasrtically, pointing at his shackles with her fork. I snorted softly, trying to turn it into a cough.

"I'm not quite trustworthy yet. I can't even sit here without your permission." He says, eyes searching Katniss's for an answer she appears unable to give him. I open my mouth to say 'no' but Johanna beats me to it.

"Sure he can sit here. We're old friends. Peeta and I had adjoining cells in the Capitol. We've very familiar with each other's screams." She smiles dangerously as he sits beside her looking relieved. Katniss shivers slightly beside me, Annie clapping her hands over her ears obviously in pain at her words. Finnick wraps an arm around her trying to calm her, shooting Johanna a look but she appears unaffected. "What? My head doctor says I'm not supposed to censor my thoughts. It's part of my therapy."

No one says anything after that for quite a while, Katniss shifting restlessly beside me, her hand insistent on my knee but I ignore her, too busy trying to inconspicuously watch Annie. Her husband whispered in her ear softly, her hands finally dropping to her lap as her breathing steadied. Under the table her foot nudges mine, a small smile at the corner of her lips, and I knew she was okay.

"Annie," Delly says suddenly bursting us all out of our heads, "did you know it was Peeta who decorated your wedding cake? Back home, his family ran the bakery and he did all the icing."

"Thank you, Peeta. It was beautiful." She says sounding genuine. His eyes fix on her and I have a sudden wish to move behind him and bash his face into his tray, but Katniss's grip on my knee keeps me rooted to my bench.

"My pleasure, Annie," He says. For a moment he seems normal, like what I remember him being like before the Quarter Quell. The only thing that seems wrong now is that his eyes never once leave Annie's face. My hands ball into fists.

"If we're going to fit in that walk, we better go," Finnick says, standing up. Annie stands with him looking oblivious, but I can tell from the look on Finnick's face that he's seem the same unnerving and unnamed thing in Peeta's face that I have. He takes both of their trays, never once letting go of Annie. "Good seeing you, Peeta."

"You be nice to her, Finnick. Or I might try and take her away from you." The air chills at his words, everyone looking a different degree of shocked. Delly squeaks and drops her fork, Katniss's head dropping beside me like a daisy shunted into the shadows. Johanna chokes on her food, almost laughing. Annie looks confused, looking between Finnick and Peeta rapidly. I can't decide whether Finnick or I look more disgusted and furious at his words.

"Oh, Peeta," Finnick says, his light tone shaking sadly. Annie presses herself into his side, obviously trying to reassure him she would never leave him for Peeta. "Don't make me sorry I restarted your heart."

"He did save your life, Peeta. More than once." Delly says angrily once they've left.

"For her." He sneers, nodding at Katniss. She tenses beside me, swallowing visibly. Even though it hurts to see her so tense and in pain, part of me can't help enjoying this moment. Now, I can't help but think, maybe she'll see how wrong she was to do the same thing to me, to treat me like garbage or invisible. "For the rebellion. Not for me. I don't owe him anything."

"Maybe not. But Mags is dead and you're still here. That should count for something." Katniss says, voice shaking. I know she could tell this is what he wanted, to get a rise out of her, but then again she never once did a single thing she was supposed to.

"Yeah, a lot of thing should count for something that don't seem to, Katniss." He says in a high voice. I can tell before the others that something bad is coming. Katniss shivers again. Against my will I feel the need to protect her, but fight it. "I've got some memories I can't make sense of, and I don't think the Capital touched them. A lot of nights on a train, for instance."

The implications smack all of us in the face, the victor beside me reverting back to the small girl she'd once been the first time I ever met her. I snake an arm around her waist to pull her back to herself, to give her a place to stand. As always she uses me as the spring board to find herself, rallying at once and looking stern. For once, I don't mind that she's using me to get by. For once, I don't blame her for my pain, but look to Peeta as the source.

"So, are you two officially a couple now, or are they still dragging out the star-crossed lover thing?" Peeta asks. I look to Katniss for an answer, but it doesn't come.

"Still dragging." Johanna interjects."

"I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it myself." I say, tensing. More than anything I want o cause a scene, want to hurt him. But for Katniss's sake I know I can't, and pull myself back.

"What's that?" Peeta asks, his voice dropping back to something resembling normalcy.

"You," I say. Johanna leans forward to give me a searching look, Delly resting a hand on my shoulder trying to warn me away from this kind of talk. Beside me the other of the two forced together star-crossed lovers sits frozen.

"You'll have to be a little more specific. What about me?" He asks. I know this is the place where this can go one of two ways, that I could be the better person and leave on a snarky remark or try and cause a fight. My eyes fall on Katniss's tormented expression and I know which I have to choose.

"That they've replaced you with the evil-mutt version of yourself" Johanna snaps suddenly, her look telling me only too plainly that she understands. I nod to her, standing and draining my milk.

"You done?" I ask Katniss, walking with her to drop off our trays. We walk in silence until we get to her compartment. "I didn't expect that."

"I told you he hated me," She says, and I can't stand how defeated and deflated she sounds over him.

"It's the way he hates you. It's so…. familiar. I used to feel like that." I say, wondering why I'd admitting these things to her when I know I owe her nothing. Maybe because she looked so pathetic then, because I could tell she needed someone to be on a lower level than her and I just so happened to be able to drop there for her. Sometimes I couldn't tell if I loved or hated her for the places she pushed me. "When I'd watch you kissing him on the screen. Only I knew I wasn't being entirely fair. He can't see that."

"Maybe he just sees me as I really am." Her words smack me in the face. Suddenly, I can't be angry with her. I can't blame her, either. It leaves me in a place I can't describe, an uncomfortable middle ground. "I have to get some sleep."

"So that's what you're thinking now?" I ask, grasping her arm. She shrugs, visibly sinking inside herself again. "Katniss, as your oldest friend, believe me when I say he's not seeing you as you are."

On an impulse I kiss her cheek before turning to leave, not sure how to feel as I walk away. Was she finally starting to see herself? It was horrible to feel so giddy at her pain, but I couldn't help it. For once, I wasn't the only one of us feeling slighted by love.


	7. Chapter 7: Planning

Hey all! Quick update, just like I promised. Hopefully you like this chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games, or any of the characters. Some of the dialogue comes straight from the book, just so you're aware.

POV is still from Gale's point of view. I hope I'm doing him justice! (This chapter I'll be jumping right into the action and dialogue from the book instead of setting it up like I usually do, purely for effect. Hopefully it works well for what I had planned…)

Happy reading!

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Chapter 7: Planning

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"Squad Four-Five-One, you have been selected for a special mission." Plutarch said, pacing in front of me and the seven others watching him. Looking at Katniss's face, I can tell what she's hoping we'll be the ones to assassinate President Snow, but I know better. President Coin may have agreed that she'll let the Mockingjay kill him, but you can tell it was a blow to her. She'll want it to be as public as possible, and knowing her probably make a propo out of it to convince the whole of Panem she should be in charge of them as well as District 13. "We have numerous sharpshooters, but rather a dearth of camera crews. Therefore, we've handpicked the eight of you to be what we call our 'Star Squad'. You will be the on-screen faces of the invasion."

"What you're saying is, we won't be in actual combat," I snapped, clenching my fists. After all my hard work, all the training I'd been shunted through to prepare for this, I'd been shoved off as just another pretty face. I can tell from the way everyone else held themselves that they were feeling the same things I was, but especially Katniss. She looked like Prim had been called to go into the Hunger Games all over again.

"You will be in combat, but perhaps not always the front line. If one can even isolate a front line in this type of war," he says, giving us all that ridiculous Capital-trademark smile of his. An urge shoots through me to punch him in the jaw, to see just how easily breakable his perfectly straight white teeth are. Maybe if someone knocked my teeth out in retaliation I wouldn't be pretty enough to be on the damn Star Squad. Before I can move forward, Finnick chimes in.

"None of us want that." He growls, his eyes narrowed. This is probably the most angry I've ever seen him before, even counting the time Peeta made his allusion to trying to steal Annie away from him. The others all grumble their agreement, except for the Mockingjay beside me. "We're going to fight."

"You're going to be as useful to the war effort as possible. And it's been decided that you are of most value on television. Just look at the effect Katniss had running around in that Mockingjay suit." Plutarch tried to assure us, moving his hands as he spoke as if he physically wanted to push down our discontent. Annoyed I crossed my arms over my chest, rolling my eyes. This, I couldn't help but think, was the danger of letting people from the Capital run the show – they'd stoop to even turning a war for Panem's freedom from President Snow into a television drama for their own gains and entertainment. It surprised me that Katniss could just stand by for his words like she was, even when he used her as example. Looking into her face I could practically see the gears turning and knew she must be up to something, but knew better than to bring it up now. Tucking it in the back of my mind I looked back at out 'commander'. "Turned the whole rebellion around. Do you notice how she's the only one not complaining? It's because she understand the power of that screen."

"But it's not all pretend, is it?" She asked suddenly, everyone looking between her and Plutarch. "That'd be a waste of talent."

"Don't worry," he said. Such empty words coming from a man who was used to living in excess at the Capital, trying to reassure people who knew what the true cost of surviving meant to the other Districts. Comfort or reassurance wasn't something he'd ever be able to offer any of us. "You'll have plenty of real targets to hit. But don't get blown up. I've got enough on my plate without having to replace you. Now get to the Capital and put on a good show."

As the meeting ends I storm off away from the others, knowing it's useless to complain when all of us are feeling the same things. When I march into our family compartment my mother and siblings don't ask why I'm in such a foul mood and I don't both telling them knowing it would just make them worry. I sit with them the rest of the night, playing with them all and helping my mother corral them down to dinner later in the evening. I know she can tell something is up, seeing as I'd normally be at training, but she thankful understands I don't want to talk about it.

The morning we ship out I wake up extra early, knowing I should try and get more sleep but feeling the sacrifice of a few hours is well worth time with my family. I creep into where my siblings are and quietly pull a chair over to the edge of their beds one by one, stroking their hair and breathing as quietly as possible. This could be the last time I see them if things go wrong, but I can't bring myself to wake them from their dreams. Soon, they might have a real future in Panem where they don't have to be scared. Blinking back tears I whisper a silent goodbye to them and head for my mother's room.

I'm not surprise to see her already wake when I enter her room. She's sitting on the edge of her bed looking away from the door at the blank wall. As always, I didn't have to tell her a word and she knew what was impending. She looks up as I walk towards her and opens her arms to me, tears in her eyes. Swallowing I drop to my knees beside the bed and let her hold me close as she sobbed, shaking. Closing my eyes I listened to her breathing, suddenly wishing I hadn't decided to go to the Capital. If I fell in battle, there would be no one to provide for my family. But, if we succeeded, my family would get to grow up in a better Panem than I did. That thought alone made me pull away from her and stand up. Kissing her forehead I tell her I loved her before heading off to get on the hovercraft that would take us to District 12 where a makeshift transportation area has been established.

"Gale wait, don't leave just yet!" Just as I reach the door to where the hovercraft was waiting I felt a small hand holding tight onto my sleeve pulling me back. Turning I swallowed as Annie fell into my arms, face tearstained as she looked up into my eyes. "Were you really going to leave without saying goodbye to me?"

"I thought you'd be busy saying goodbye to Finnick." I said, regretting it when she flinched. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"It's alright, I understand. I'm the second time you've had to watch someone you care about end up with someone else." It didn't surprise me that she knew how I felt without me telling her. Nothing about her surprised me anymore. Pulling me close she kissing my cheek, holding my face in her hands as she pulled back. "You stay safe, okay? I know you want to be the hero and help save Panem, but don't let it cost you your life. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Don't worry; I'm more than capable of surviving whatever the Capital throws at me." I smiled, stroking her hair. She looked relieved, but only slightly. Tipping her chin back with a finger I kissed her forehead, wishing I was brave enough to kiss her full on. I could go to the Capital for a war, perhaps even to my death, but I couldn't get up the courage to kiss her then. Something about it just felt wrong, like I was trying to take Finnick's place in this goodbye, and so I pulled myself back internally. I had to remind myself she was just my friend, married to one of my brothers in arms for this battle, and nothing more. "I'll do my best to look out for Finnick too, just in case. He's a damn good fighter though so he probably won't need me there to keep him out of trouble."

"I'll still feel better knowing you're there to keep him safe just in case." She said, smiling for the first time. Reaching into her pocket she pulled out a sea shell on a small white string, taking my hand and placing it on my palm before closing my finger around it. "For you, wear it as a good luck charm to keep you safe. I wore it in the arena under my costume. Hopefully it'll keep you safe too."

"Oh Annie, no I can't take this." I said quickly, trying to give it back to her. She shook her head, taking a step back and shoving her hands into her pockets. "This is the kind of thing you should be giving your husband, not me. I can't accept this, not when it means so much."

"But I want you to have it." She said simply, tucking her hair behind her ears. I stared at her wordlessly. She smiled again, letting out a soft laugh. "Finnick has me to come back to, and he knows I'll be here waiting for him. I thought you needed a reminder I'd be waiting for you more than he would."

"…Thank you," it's all I can say as I pull her into my arms for a last hug, breathing her in before turning and dashing to the hovercraft just before it takes off. I tuck the seashell necklace into my pocket right before I board, holding it in my pocket the entire trip over to District 12. For once, I feel grounded. I'd always taken care of my family, ever since my father died. Now I felt like I have something worth coming back to, just for me, just for my own personal need. Annie had given me something no one else to that point had – she's allowed me something to be selfish about.

During the few days travel to the Capital on the cargo car we're shunted into I don't talk to anyone, especially avoiding Katniss. Once we get to the encampment, things get so boring even I consider deserting. We're told our job is to give the Capital the wrong information but shooting useless things and causing havoc, shooting out the exteriors of cotton candy and rainbow buildings like it's all just a game.

Maybe to Snow and Plutarch it is, but not to me, never to me. Not when I have family and Annie waiting for me back in District 13, and people like Boggs and Katniss beside me that I don't want to see wing up dead. My self-made promise to try my best to bring Finnick home safety won't be an issue if things continue like they have here, with only minimal action and no real danger impending. Whenever a sharpshooter is needed, Katniss, Finnick, and I are never allowed to go, never selected for real battle.

"It's your own fault for being so camera-ready," Katniss tells me one evening after once again I get shot down for a chance at real action. I shot her a look, part of me knowing she's most likely right, the rest of me wanting to kill her for what she's insinuating. Did even she think I was just a pretty face now? When had her opinion of me gotten so low?

The longer the Star Squad is steered away from real action, the less anxious Katniss seems to get. While everyone else is losing their heads trying to get some action, she spends all her time alone pouring over her paper map for the Capital mumbling under her breath. Even though I can tell she's planning something that's probably not just risky for her but for all of us, I know if I ask her about it, she'll close herself off from me entirely. Now that we're actually close to battle, even if they're trying to keep us away from it, I don't dare get on her bad side when I might need her soon. Not when I might finally be able to show her how good I might be for her if she eventually lets me in on her plan so I can help.

And then Peeta shows up. As if it wasn't enough of a shock watching Soldier Leeg 2 killed by a milabled pod, the fact that he was sent as the replacement puts me immediately on my guard. Katniss looks slightly panicked and wild at the sight of him, and I know at once what needs to happen. Somehow I need to insert myself between them, not to keep Katniss to myself, but to keep Peeta from ripping her head off in the middle of the night. Everyone is panicked to see him, Finnick and Boggs especially speaking up that he shouldn't be here, but Peeta just shrugs it off.

"It won't matter," he calls after Boggs as he storms off with Peeta's weapon to call the base. "The president assigned me herself. She decided the propos needed some heating up."

Katniss look like she's swallowed a speeding bullet. Boggs immediately drags her away from Peeta after setting up a watch to keep the mutt contained. Solider Jackson does us all a kindness and gives me and Finnick the first short watch while she figures out a schedule. The way he looks at me tells me he knows just what I'm thinking, nodding as the others head off to get some sleep and leave us alone with the mutt.

"Is this the part where the two of you gang up on me then?" Peeta says, taking a deep breath. Finnick and I share a look before turning back to him, shaking our heads. "C'mon, I know neither of you likes the fact that I'm here."

"Of course we don't. You're a threat to all of us, especially Katniss." Finnick says honestly, his hand on his gun. Peeta eyes him cautiously but doesn't say anything more, eyes locked on the weapon, knowing if he so much as moved the wrong way Finnick would shoot him. "If you try anything, you'll be sorry."

"It's not my fault the Capital hijacked me. Believe me, I never would have asked for this mess." Sighing he buried his hands in his hair, sitting down on the edge of an overturned crate. Finnick shoots me a look, obviously not sure if he's trying to play us or get sympathy. I shrug, my finger on the trigger of my gun just in case. "Most of the time I have no idea whether my memories or real or just implanted to turn me against everyone I used to know."

"We've all had it hard," Finnick says simply, swallowing. I can tell from the look on his face he's missing Annie terribly. My hand absently slips off my gun and into my pocket, ghosting over her necklace. The smooth, cool sea shell instantly calms me.

"I'll tell you one thing I know for sure though," I say suddenly, both of them looking up at me. "You never used to be like this."

"Thanks for the reassurance," he says back so quickly I can't tell if he's being sarcastic or serious, but something in the way he locks eyes with me tells me he's being genuine. His guard drops and I take my chance, getting up in his face. Finnick puts a warning hand on my shoulder but I shrug it off. I know my boundaries, and how close I can get without stepping over them.

"If you hurt Katniss, I won't hesitate to kill you." I sneer at him, Soldier Jackson calls us over to him and we shepherd Peeta over to her. I head off at once away from him, suddenly furious. The look in his eyes when I said Katniss's name scared me. It was like he instantly went feral. This was going to be a handful.

When the dinner whistle sounds I line up behind Katniss, taking in her appearance. She looks visibly shaken, the façade she tries so desperately to hold up crumbling. Maybe I can only see the cracks because I've known her the longest, but from where I was standing, she looked ready to break.

"Do you want me to kill him?" I ask her bluntly. She jumps a little, obviously rattled by my offer. Almost as soon as I see the weakness she rallies, her face souring to nonchalance.

"That'll get us both sent back for sure," she says coldly, visibly brushing me off. "I can deal with him."

Suddenly I can't stand her or all the lies. Suddenly, I want her to be real with me, to be honest. Never once has anything she's said to me rung true. The most honest things I'd ever heard her say where only on the screens when she was in the Hunger Games… when she was talking to Peeta. The honesty was never saved for me.

"You mean until you take off? You and your paper map and possibly a Holo if you can get your hands on it?" I snap at once, seeing from her reaction that I've unsettled her just like I meant to. Obviously she'd been thinking she'd hidden it well enough that I wouldn't notice her plans. "You're not planning on leaving me behind, are you?"

"As your fellow soldier, I have to strongly recommend you stay with your squad." She said, a hint of humor entering her voice. For a moment, we could have been back in the woods, not planning a dangerous assassination attempt in the middle of a war. For a minute, she's almost the Katniss I fell in love with so long ago. "But I can't stop you from coming, can I?"

"No," I grin, feeling more like me now that I know she didn't plan on deserting me. Maybe I was more than just a disposable boy for her to toy with. "Not unless you want me to alter the rest of the army."

But I know that's the last thing I'd want to do now. If I did that, I might lose this chance with her to end things – not only with Snow, but with her and Peeta. If I can get her alone, things might finally go my way.

Now all I have to figure out, I think to myself as I pull Annie's necklace out of my pocket and finally slip it over my head and under my uniform, is whether or not I still want Katniss.


	8. Chapter 8: Truths

Hey all! This chapter is particularly long considering the lengths of my other chapters before it, so if you'd prefer I go back to writing shorter chapters please tell me in reviews so I know if this length will be a problem. I hope this update finds you well, and that you enjoy this chapter. We're nearing an end of actual _Mockingjay_ events, and getting close to transversing into my original plot continuations.

I feel inclined to warn you thought that updates might get a little father in between than they have been of late. I've recently been asked to co-author a novel, and will doubtlessly spend a good chunk of my free time writing my chapters for that. Since I only write every other chapter though, on my time off while the other chapters are being written by my co-author, I will be writing and posting chapters on here of this Fanfiction. This story shall not be shunted to the side, rest assured - especailly not since I'm soooooooooo close to where I want to take this! We're currently a few chapters in, and things are going well considering how hard its turning out to be. Currently I'm waiting for him to be done with his chapter so that I can read it and write mine.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Hunger Games, the characters I'm writing, and some of the dialogue comes directly from the books for the sake of accuracy.

I have a line in here somewhere about Finnick having been Annie's mentor in the Games. I think I'm right about that, but I'm not 100% positive. My roommate thinks I'm right too, but its been a while since she read the last book. If it turns out I'm wrong, please forgive me the misinformation. Everything just works better for my plot this chapter if he was her mentor.

I'll be skipping some dialogue to make things move a little faster, I mean, we all read the novel and he things I'll be cutting are things I feel Gale wouldn't have a particularly interesting opinion on. In this, the only thing that really matters is how I feel Gale would see things, and what he'd internalize. Thus, the cuts I made.

Also, this might just be me, but I feel like the only reason Gale nicknamed Katniss 'Catnip' in the first book is because (according to my spell check anyways) catnip is the first suggestion when you look at the spell check suggestions for what you were trying to spell when you spell Katniss. XD I'm probably wrong, but it was funny to think about.

Happy reading!

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Chapter 8: Truths

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I opened my eyes to find my tent flooded with the gray light of empty morning, taking a deep breath before flipping over and coming face to face with a very concerned-looking Finnick. I shot up in bed, Finnick clapping a hand to my mouth to keep me quite. Wild fantasies raced through my head, most of them involving him spearing me on a trident having found out my feelings for Annie, but I realized at once that couldn't be true. One, there was no way he could have found out in the night since no one but Annie and I knew, and two, I was pretty damn sure if he had know he would have looked a lot less sad and a lot more angry if he'd found out I'd kissed his wife right before they'd said 'I do'.

Pulling his hand away from my mouth I sat up, stretching my arms as he watched me solemnly. "What's going on?"

"Did you hear what happened last night?" He asked, sighing when I shook my head. Quickly he told me of the scene where Katniss told Peeta all about himself before dashing off to her tent, most likely to cry herself to sleep. I swallowed against the lump in my throat, hoping this wouldn't throw off her plans to ditch the Star Squad with me to go after President Snow. "I don't know where or not if asked I could tell him truthful answers. I feel like I'll be tempted to lie."

"For Katniss's sake, we can't do that. We're her friends." I said simply, feeling around the floor of my tent for my coat. Finnick mumbled under his breath something about wanting to shove a trident up Peeta's ass as he headed for the mouth of my tent. "If it was you or Annie in that position you'd want us to be honest, wouldn't you?"

"Yeah, I would," he said, freezing. "But what if us being honest makes you lose Katniss to him?"

"She was always a losing battle for me Finnick, and I knew it from the start. If all those years hunting with her in District 12 couldn't make her see how badly I wanted to love and be loved by her, then nothing could." I sighed running a hand through my hair. As I spoke the words for the first time, I knew them to be true instinctively. It was almost funny that it took me talking to Finnick to realize how things had been from the very beginning. Was I the only one who had thought things could be different? Pulling nightshirt over my head I reached into my bag for a clean one. "Peeta just happened to be the first other person to openly go after her."

"I'm so sorry Gale. It might not mean much coming from me, but I…" I looked up from where I'd been turning my shirt inside out the correct way to where Finnick was standing in the mouth of my tent, mouth hanging open and eyes wide. For a moment, it looked like he was about to cry, mouth opening and shutting as though there were too many words jammed in his throat that all were trying to escape at once but had gotten stuck. His hands unclenched and clenched in the fabric of his shirt, his entire frame shaking slightly as he continued to stare at me.

"What's wrong? Are you… oh," I fell short, my hand deftly closing around the sea shell necklace I was wearing. Since putting it on initially, I hadn't once taken it off, guarding it like a precious relic. To me, it was. Just knowing it was there around my neck, being able to touch it before I went to sleep, was enough to keep me going and remind me of what we were fighting for and why I mustn't ever give up. "Finnick…"

"That's… is that Annie's sea shell? I'd know it anywhere." He said helplessly. I winced at his voice, high and unnatural. Right now he seemed even less sane than he's been back when we'd rescued him, Katniss, and Beetee from the Quarter Quell and brought them back to District 13. I much preferred the knot-tying boy in a hospital gown to what was before now sputtering like a candle about to go out over words he didn't want to say. "She wore it when she was in the arena. I was her mentor; I had to have it be approved before it could go into the games with her."

"I won't deny it's the same one." I said softly, pulling my shirt over my head. His sharp intake of breath told me all I needed to know. Even though he'd known what the shell meant as soon as he saw it, he'd been hoping he was wrong, but I'd just shattered that. "Believe me, I wish for your sake it was just a coincidence. But I won't lie to you."

"Why did she give it to you?" He asked, suddenly sounding angry. I braced myself, knowing it was going to get worse before it got better. Just as I'd expected within seconds he'd launched himself on top of me, hands scrambling at my throat. "What's between you and my wife? I knew you two got close but I figured it was because you were the one who rescued her. Is there more to it than that, huh?"

"Whatever there is or was or could have been between me and Annie, it wasn't more powerful than her feelings for you." I said, struggling for breath around his fingers and fighting to let go of the words I knew he needed to hear. And yet, even though I knew in his delusional, furious, anguished state I could have thrown him off and saved myself, I couldn't bring myself to do it. If this was how it was going to end, then I figured it was for the best. He deserved to strangle me. "I'm not trying to get you to let me live, and you have every right to kill me. But don't blame her when you go back to District 13. I know you don't owe me anything, but don't punish her for this. She chose you, Finnick, there was never any doubt about that."

"She… she did choose me, didn't she?" He said shakily, his hands loosening a little. I nodded, coughing. My head was starting to feel foggy, thoughts blurring at the edges. "Annie married me, no matter what she might be feeling for you. She could have said no but she didn't."

"Of course she did, she loves you. I don't even know what's between me and her. But, I never tried to steal her from you, I swear." His fingers relaxed letting me go, tears sliding down his face. He looked down at me where he sat on top of me, hands loose at his sides. Not knowing what else to do I placed my hand atop his, taking deep breaths to right myself. "I can't help what I feel for her, but I tried my best never to act on it. No matter how strongly I felt, I never wanted to take her away from you."

"Somehow… I believe you, even if I don't like it." He said, rolling off of me to lie beside me staring at the roof of the tent. "You know… I've never seen her as happy with someone other than me as she is when she's with you."

"Still, she'd never be as happy with me as she is with you." I said honestly, sighing. Pulling the necklace over my head I looked at the sea shell, internally saying good bye to it before placing it in Finnick's hand. Instantly I felt the loss of it, like the sudden chill felt in winter when you open the door on a snowstorm. "You deserve this more than I do. Annie never should have given it to me, and I told her so. But… she wouldn't take no for an answer."

"That's my wife for you!" He said, actually laughing. For a minute I almost chuckled along with him, but stopped myself. I wasn't entitled to laugh about it the same way he was. Things were going to have to change. "She's… special, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," I said gently. He sat up and looked at me again, the tears gone from his eyes and replace with another emotion I wasn't sure I liked seeing there anymore than I'd like seeing the helplessness or the rage. The last thing I wanted was his pity. "Don't look at me like that, please."

"I don't want you to think you have to avoid her from now on, because you don't. Now that I know, well, now that I won't be sitting on the sidelines left in the dark wondering if there's something more than on the surface… what I'm trying to say is… I think I understand now, even if it's not the way I would have chosen for things to go." He said, placing the necklace back into my hand. I stared at him, then back up at him, disbelieving. Sitting up I searched his face, surprised to find he looked completely serious. "You're right, she chose me. What does it matter if she has or had something with you or even wanted something with you but didn't get it? Besides, even if she'd cheated on me with you…"

"We didn't do that," I said at once, my voice catching. He laughed again, patting my shoulder and shaking his head. I swallowed, afraid the mental break was going to happen any moment now and that I'd find his hands around my neck again at any second. Finnick was taking this much too well, much better than Peeta had taken whatever had almost been between me and Katniss. "Why aren't you angry anymore?"

"Don't get me wrong, I'm furious. But, at the same time, I can't be." He said, looking away from me at the rising sun. "Even if she's cheated on me with you, or even refused to marry me to be with you, I would still love her. Nothing could make me not love Annie, not even this."

"I don't see how that means you have to not strangle me." I said cautiously, pulling my coat on. Looking back at me he smiled, just like he used to when we'd all joke around at lunch. For the first time I wondered if things would really be okay between us again now that he knew.

"Because if I killed you, Annie would cry, and the last thing I ever want to be is the monster that makes her sad." Finnick smiled, ruffling his hair. Blinking I looked down at the sea shell in my hands, pulling the necklace back over my neck tucking it under my clothes. "Even though I'd rather cut you out of the picture, I know I can't if I want Annie to be happy. So I'll allow you two to see each other and be friends. I believe that you honestly never tried to take her from me before. But, I warn you, if you ever do try to take her from me I won't hesitate to run you through."

"I won't want it any other way." I said, smiling for the first time. "I made her a promise to do my best to bring you home safe to her."

"You would do that, Mr. Hero-Complex," he snorted, shaking his head. This time I laughed along with him. "Can… can you promise me something then, just in case?"

"Of course," I said, wondering what he could possible want me to promise him. I'd already said I wouldn't go after his wife. What more could he want me to promise?

"If something happens to me, and I don't make it back to District 13, to Annie… I want you to promise me that you'll be there for her no matter what." He said not looking at me, that unsteady shake entering his voice again. Swallowing I gingerly touched his shoulder, wanting to reassure him that this kind of talk was pointless when we hadn't yet seen real battle, instead staying silent as he opened his mouth again. "She's stronger than people think, but… Annie needs looking after. She just needs a little extra helps sometimes is all, you know? And if I'm gone, she'll need someone who understands her and that can love her. So, I'd appreciate knowing if something happened to me that you'd be there for her."

"I'd be honored Finnick, really." I said, Finnick smiling broadly at my response. "You have my word that I'll do everything in my power to take care of her if the worst should happen to you."

"Strangely, that makes me feel a little better." He said with a strangled chuckle, standing up. "We should head out soon, we've got to go shoot out some more glass for propos."

"You go on ahead," I said, standing to look for my pants.

"Oh, Gale? Just one more thing before I go." I turned to look at him just in time for him to knee me in the stomach, smirking. "Now we're even."

I finally caught up with him, Kantiss, and the camera crew nearly twenty minutes later, and Finnick was just as nice to me as he's always been. Looking at the crew's faces I could tell none of them knew what had gone down between us thankfully.

When we get back to base camp it's to find another exhilarating round of 'Real or Not Real' in the process and to find that the three of us have been broken up on our watches so that when we play each night with Peeta to see what we can ease him into remember, someone's there who knows him more personally. Part of me wishes it were different. I don't feel very in the mood to answer his questions, especially the ones I know he'll be asking me.

But, when my shift comes, most of his questions center around things from home in District 12, not about Katniss and our supposed love triangle like I'd suspected. For this I am intensely grateful, knowing this means most of them must fall on Katniss's head. I wonder as I head to bed and she takes my shift of watching him if it's wrong that the idea makes me happy. At least now, between me and Peeta, someone'll be getting the answers they need.

And then, suddenly, "Real or Not Real' matters to me when Darius and the redhead Avox girl Katniss told me about come up. Lavinia… I'd always wondered what her name was. At the time, young as I'd been, I'd wanted to rush out and save her – but I'd had Katniss with me, and felt a stronger need to keep her protected and out of trouble. To this day the images and sounds of the girl screaming for us to help her still haunted my worst dreams. Katniss pressed her face into my armor and I wrapped my arms around her, wishing there was a way for things to go back to how they'd been when we were kids in the woods back with the worst thing that could happen was not finding enough game and wild berries for our families.

Suddenly, the ringing chant of 'Death to the Capital' can't be louder in my ears. The bloodshed, the fear… it needs to leave Panem. I know the only way it will is with more death and bloodshed, but I hope that the means will justify the ends. Freedom has to cost something, otherwise I'm sure we would have had it by now.

When we head out to destroy pods for more credible and exciting footage for the propos, I get assigned a real target for the first time. Joy and something fierce fill me as I take aim and fire, the pod releasing a hail of bullets as I duck for cover with the others. Accomplishment floods me – my first shot that might have actually meant SOMETHING, ANYTHING to the war effort. One less pod means potentials lives saved. We pause for Cressida to get close-up shots of each of us, laughing out heads off at the worst of the actors attempts to pull of various expressions.

"Pull it together, Four-Five-One," Boggs says even though we can tell he wants to laugh right along with us, eyes fixed on his Holo to see what the next pod is. And then he steps back onto an orange paving stone and the entire world shifts as his legs are blown off right from under him, a second explosion going off right afterwards.

Utter panic ensues as people run to help the wounded, Katniss and Finnick among them. Soldier Leeg 1 and I start trying to blast a path out of the block as an intense wall of black slowly spews out of the pod. It seems useless, and I turn to check on everyone else just in time to see Peeta launch himself at Katniss. Anger fills me and make a move to dart forward to help but Mitchell beats me to it before I can even take a step, tackling him. Out of everything, the thing that shocks me most is Peeta launching Mitchell down the block into a pod that sucks Mitchell in and spills his blood over us and the stones all around. I turn and finish helping Leeg 1 shoot through the door, then turn to fire at the cables encasing Mitchell. I couldn't care less when I see the same ones are reaching for Peeta.

Behind me I hear the others running for cover, dragging Boggs inside the apartment we shot open, but I can't bring myself to give up on Mitchell as the black cloud overtakes me. I'm vaguely aware I'm the last one in the street. And then I hear Katniss shouting my names and rush into the house slamming the door behind me.

"Fumes," I manage to get out before turning and retching into the sink, shaking. Fighting and arguing ensues behind me but I'm too busy emptying my body of toxins until I hear the first gun cocked. Automatically I cock mine as well, turning to see why this is even necessary. In front of me Jackson and Katniss are staring each other done, both apparently vying for control. Without even blinking I move to Katniss's side, pointing my gun straight at Jackson. I may have liked Jackson as person and even as the second in command, but I wasn't about to sit by and let her murder my childhood best friend.

"It's true. That's why we're here. Plutarch wants it televised." Cressida says stepping between the two factions of the Star Squad, hands raised. I look sideways at Katniss, see the Holo in her hands, and instantly know what must have happened. She's now our commanding officer. I look at Bogg's lifeless body on the floor and silently salute him. He was a good man doing his best to protect his soldiers right to the end. I only hope I can keep as many of them alive as possible, to do him proud. "He thinks if we can film the Mockingjay assassinating Snow, it will end the war."

"And why is he here?" Jackson says after a pause, pointing her gun towards a closet. I can only assume they've shoved Peeta in there while I was still in the street.

"Because the two post-interviews with Caesar Flickerman were shot in President Snow's personal quarters." Cressida says at once. Suddenly I respect her more for how quick thinking she is on her feet in tense situations. "Plutarch thinks Peeta may be of some use as a guide in a location we have little knowledge of."

"We have to go!" I say suddenly. Death fills my nose here, and I can barely stand it. I knew we shouldn't be standing around Bogg's dead body fighting – he would have wanted us to move forward. "I'm following Katniss. If you don't want to, head back to camp. But let's move!"

"Ready." Homes says, unlocking the closet and hoisting Peeta up over his shoulder. I nod in his direct and he nods back, smiling.

"Boggs?" Leeg 1 says hopelessly, tears in his eyes.

"We can't take him. He'd understand." Finnick says in a tense voice. Reaching down he gingerly takes Bogg's gun slinging it over his own shoulder. "Lead on, Soldier Everdeen."

"I don't know how to use this." Katniss says helplessly, holding out the Holo to Jackson who looks like she wants to tear it from her hands then rip her throat out for good measure. My finger stays on the trigger of my gun just in case. "Boggs said you would help me. He said I could count on you."

That's all she needed to say. Jackson, though she scowls, looks puffed up with pride at the things Katniss said Boggs told her. "If we go out the kitchen door, there's a small courtyard, then the back side of another corner apartment unit. We're looking at an overview of the four streets that meet at the intersection."

"Put on your masks. We're going out the way we came in." Katniss says, objections shooting up at once. After a moment she shouts over them, anger in her face. "If that wave was that powerful, then it may have triggered and absorbed other pods in our path."

"It may have disabled the cameras as well," Castor says translating for Pollux as he makes frantic hand movements. In the mean time I prop my boot on the counter, examining where black has coated the toe of my boot. "Coated the lenses."

"It's not corrosive," I say, picking off the black with a knife off the counter. "I think it was meant to either suffocate or poison us."

"Probably our best shot," Leeg says encouragingly. As we put out masks on we look to our new leader to lead us forward. For a moment she looks confused then visibly realization dawns on her and she takes point.

We move down the street, and the evidence of other absorbed pods lies before us in the black gel covering everything in the street. We move about five blocks before evidence shows that the wave starts to deter off. We head into a new apartment and I examine the windows, taking my mask off. "It's all right. You can smell it, but it's not too strong."

Everyone looks around the apartment, examining things when a rumble shakes everything. Katniss looks around wildly. "It wasn't close," Jackson says at once, soothingly. "A good four or five blocks away."

"Where we left Boggs." Leeg says at once, sadness in his voice. We all look down, not knowing what to say. I say a silent goodbye to our fallen commander just as the television comes alive. Half of us jump up, grabbing out guns expecting an attack.

"It's all right! It's just an emergency broadcast." Cressida says reassuringly, waving her hands around at everyone to sit back down. "Every Capital television is automatically activated for it."

I watch as several of us including myself are identified in the broadcast and prounounced dead. I know I should be pleased, that this gives us an advantage over the Capital… but all I can think about is Annie and my family back in District 13 thinking I've died. Annie must be falling to pieces if she was watching this, thinking both Finnick and I were dead. The thought made me yearn for her, to go back to where she was waiting and reassure her that we were bother still alive.

After a moment of silence I looked sideways at Katniss, who was lost in thought. "So, now that we're dead, what's our next move?"

"Our next move…" Peeta says, sitting up suddenly. I turn to see him looking directly at me. There's something in his eyes that scares me, makes me swallow. Nothing good can come from what he says next. "…is to kill me."

The remark throws all strategic planning to a standstill as we all turn to look at Peeta. Glancing quickly between him and Katniss I can tell both of them are in great pain at the idea, Katniss especially. Her face says more about her feelings for him than I think she understood, the slight tears building in the corners of her eyes saying it all. She couldn't bear the thought of living without him, even if that meant living with him in his current state. She'd take the mutt over the boy with the bread she'd placed on a pedestal years ago if that meant he kept existing.

"Don't be ridiculous," Jackson says, but her tone betrays her real feelings. She wants him dead, her eyes say that quite plainly.

"I just murdered a member of our squad!" Peeta shouts, Leeg 1 flinching looking down. Jackson's twitches, her hand on her gun, then relaxes. Everything is suddenly too tense, too trigger-happy.

"You pushed him off you. You couldn't have known he would trigger the net at that exact spot." Finnick says soothingly, reaching out a hand towards Peeta. He snarls and jerks away, a look of disgust on his face. We can all see it's not there because he doesn't want Finnick to touch him, but because he's too disgusted with himself to want pity.

"Who cares? He's dead, isn't he?" He says in a gentler voice, tears slipping down his face. This, I think, is more like the old Peeta. "I didn't know. I've never seen myself like that before. Katniss is right. I'm the monster. I'm the mutt. I'm the one Snow had turned into a weapon!"

"It's not your fault, Peeta," Finnick says helplessly, his own eyes laced with tears. I can tell how much this must be affecting him and Katniss, the fellow victors. For a moment I wonder if Snow could have done this to either of them if they'd be captured instead of Peeta, if they would have broken. Somehow I can't see Katniss breaking – I could only see her being killed while they tried.

"You can't take me with you. It's only a matter of time before I kill someone else." Peeta says, looking between everyone. His eyes linger on me and Katniss especially long, expecting one of us to pull our gun out right then and there and shoot him. "Maybe you think it's kinder to just dump me somewhere. Let me take my chances. But that's just the same thing as handing me over to the Capital. Do you think you'd be doing me a favor by sending me back to Snow?"

No one says anything, Katniss closing her eyes at the thought leaning into my shoulder slightly for strength. Jackson looks on the verge of something, whether it be locking Peeta back in the closet until we can make a decision or shoot him, I can't tell. Suddenly I can't stand it, the quiet way we're discussing what's to happen to him. Peeta, I can't help but think, deserves better than this. He deserves something finite.

"I'll kill you before that happens. I promise." I say, swallowing. Even though I can feel eyes on me I don't let my gaze sway from Peeta's. His eyes are sizing me up, locking with mine. The smallest hint of relief floods his face before he looks away.

"It's no good. What if you're not there to do it?" He asks, shifting restlessly. The clanking of his handcuffs jars me slightly making me wince. "I want one of those poison pills like the rest of you have."

"It's not about you. We're on a mission. And you're necessary to it." Katniss says suddenly, ending all discussion. Maybe it's the anger in her tone, or the way she's trying too hard to give orders like Boggs would, but everyone listens. For me, the most compelling reason to listen is the tears in her eyes. "Think we might find some food here?"

Jackson starts searching the kitchen cabinets but Messalla who used to live in a replica of this kind of apartment turns in the opposite direction, revealing a hidden compartment behind a mirror where food has been stashed. The soldiers native to District 13 look disgusted as we carry it back to where the others were watching for more broadcasts and keeping an eye on Peeta.

"Isn't this illegal?" Leeg 1 asks. I can't tell if the look on his face leans more towards disgust or hunger as he stares at the food we've gathered.

"On the contrary, in the Capital you'd be considered stupid not to do it," Messalla explains, looking at the different can labels to see what all we've got. "Even before the Quarter Quell, people were starting to stock up on scarce supplies."

"While others went without," Leeg 1 said back angrily, obviously furious at the idea.

"Right," Messalla said definitively, nodding. Leeg 1 looks ready to stab someone over this idea. "That's how it works here."

"Fortunately, or we wouldn't have dinner," I reminded, rolling my eyes. Now wasn't really the time to discuss the ways of the Capital. "Everybody grab a can."

As everyone starts to pick out a can, some grudgingly, I look up in time to see Peeta holding out a can to Katniss. Tears rise in her eyes in joy at the old memories it seems to stir of a time between them before everything went to hell, a lump forming in my throat. At times like this I can't help but wish Peeta could go back to being himself, for her. No matter how much I wish it wasn't true or try to deny it, he would have been better for her than I ever could have been.

Everyone eats in silence for a while, someone eventually passing around a box of fancy cookies just as the television screen lights up again. They appear to just be recapping about our deaths when suddenly the face of President Snow fills the screen, horrible and full of glee at the death of such key figures in the rebellion against him. His words so disgust me I start to feel my stomach turn, threatening to make me sick.

Then, out of nowhere, President Coin's face fills the screen. Without saying anything I know its Beetee who's done this. More than anything I miss him now, having spent so much time with him in weapons development. I pray internally that there was some way to tell him and the others we were alive, not so they could taunt the Capital and Snow with the knowledge in a propo, but so they wouldn't have to mourn us. In my mind's eye I could see him with Annie and my family, Prim and her mother, Johanna and Delly, those few people I knew well in District 13 crying over our deaths and wishing they could have seen us one more time.

"Dead or alive, Katniss Everdeen will remain the face of this rebellion." Coin says suddenly, Katniss's eyebrow rising at the screen. "If you ever waver in your resolve, think of the Mockingjay, and in her you will find the strength you need to rid Panem of its oppressors."

"I had no idea how much I meant to her," Katniss says with a smile, her voice dripping with sarcasm. I can't help but laugh, the others giving us confused looks.

Beetee gives the reigns back to President Snow, who seems flustered and no doubt will be killing off several of his own people tonight for this breach of security and the interruption of a speech he'd been waiting to give since the war started.

"Tomorrow morning, when we pull Katniss Everdeen's body from the ashes, we will see exactly who the Mockingjay is." Snow says dramatically, Kantiss leaning back slightly away from his image looking tense. I reach out a hand to comfort her, resting it on her knee. Without missing a beat she clutched it tightly, her nails digging into my skin. "A dead girl who could save no one, not even herself."

The words hit her like a brick. I watch her deflate slightly, shaken.

"Except that you won't find her," Finnick says to the screen, obviously as shaken as Katniss at the idea. They'll be looking for dead bodies, and when they don't find it, what will they do? Our grace period here was rapidly coming to a close. Eleven missing bodies are hard to overlook.

"We can get a head start on them at least," Katniss says, pulling out the Holo. Eyes turn to Jackson who moves forward, calmly trying to teach the new commander the most basic commands. As the map flashes up everyone's faces fall, realizing we're all but trapped already and running out of options. Katniss looks around at the rest of us helplessly, panic in her face. She was never meant to be a leader in combat situations, only to follow the simplest orders and then abandon us all for her own mission on her own terms. She has no experience and no idea how to lead us and we all know it. And yet, we follow her. Sometimes I wonder if we were all as glamour by the idea of the Mockingjay as everyone else, even those of us who knew it to be all smoke and mirrors, a pack of lies to make her appealing as an icon. Even I wonder why I followed her watching her now, scrambling for an idea. "Any ideas?"

"Why don't we start by ruling out possibilities," Finnick suggests looking tired. We all look ready to pass out. Today's been hard on everyone. "The street is not a possibility."

"The rooftops are just as bad as the street." Leeg 1 says in a terse tone.

"We still might have a chance to withdraw, go back the way we came," says Homes miserably, knowing no one wants this to be our only option. "But that would mean a failed mission."

"It was never intended for all of us to go forward." Katniss says slowly, and I can tell is pains her knowing they've all followed us into the lion's den under the pretenses of a false mission. "You just had the misfortune to be with me."

"Well, that's a moot point. We're with you now," Jackson says looking pissed. Somehow I feel she'll never be able to lighten up and get her head out of her ass long enough to relax. "So, we can't stay put. We can't move up. We can't move laterally. I think that just leaves one option."

"Underground," I say taking a deep breath. This is going to rub Katniss the wrong way, I know, but it's the only way we've got left available to us. I just hope she can accept this.

"Okay, then. Let's make it look like we've never been here," Katniss says, everyone but the still handcuffed Peeta moving to obey her commands. Finally all that's left is to convince Peeta to come with us. He drops down on the blue sofa, refusing to budge. After a heated argument we finally convince him to move.

As we head into the tunnels I looked back at Pollux who seemed terrified, Castor's explanation of his brother's job here as an Avox making my heart leap into my throat. Looking around I can only imagine how horrible it must have been for him to be trapped down her, never seeing the sun. That's the same reason I hated living underground in District 13. Even if the only thing there was for me in District 12 was work in a mine rigged to explode or collapse at any moment, at least during those Sundays in the woods with Katniss I'd felt alive free, the sun on my face and the wind in my hair. I couldn't imagine life without light.

"Well, then you just became our more valuable asset." Peeta says, and suddenly everything seems less heavy. Even Pollux managing a smile as his brother laughed, everyone looking more at ease as this words. For a moment I could see his old self shining out of his eyes, but then as we started moving again he hunched forward head down, dragging his feet. Even though he's miserable and dejected, I feel hope. Maybe there's a chance he could come back from this after all.

After several hours we decide to rest, Katniss squeezing herself between me and Leeg 1 resting her head on my shoulder as she sleeps. She feels warm and tough, sort of like how I imagine our old home feeling if you could condense it to two words, and I drift off in no time.

Suddenly I'm waking to a chorus of her name bouncing off the walls ghostly, coming to in time to see Katniss pointing an arrow right into Peeta's skull, preparing to shoot right as he wakes up. Even I can see there's no insanity there when he looks at her – just fear, like the old Peeta, for her life.

"Katniss!" He shouts helplessly. "Katniss! Get out of here!"

"Why? What's making that sound?" She asks, her bow lowering just a bit.

"I don't know. Only that it has to kill you," He says hurriedly. "Run! Get out! Go!"

Katniss turns and gives us all a look I know only too plainly, her gaze resting on my just a bit longer than the others. It's the same look she has when she's about to do something noble that might cost Katniss her life but save others. It's the same look she had the day she volunteered for Prim. "Whatever it is, it's after me. It might be a good time to split up."

"But we're your guard," Jackson reminds her.

"And your crew," Cressida adds.

"I'm not leaving you." I say emphatically. She swallows, knowing there's nothing she can say that will change our minds. We change weapons quickly so everyone has a weapon they can work with, even arming Peeta just in case before running down the passageway. Suddenly guttural, choking sounds fill the passage making us pause, everyone looking around for the source of the new horror.

"Avoxes," Peeta says, pain in his voice. "That's what Darius sounded like when they tortured him."

"The mutts must have found them," Cressida says, tears in her eyes at the thought.

"So they're not just after Katniss," Leeg 1 says, looking around confusedly.

""They'll probably kill anyone. It's just that they won't stop until they get to her," I say, sighing. Studying under Beetee taught me so much, and yet sometimes I wish I didn't know anything. The horror of such knowledge haunted my dreams, creeping into my waking hours.

"Let me go on alone. Lead them off." Katniss begs. "I'll transfer the Holo to Jackson. The rest of you can finish the mission."

"No one's going to agree to that!" Jackson shouts at her, throwing her hands in the air exasperatedly.

"We're wasting time!" Finnick snaps angrily.

"Listen," Peeta says softly, and we all pause. The screams have stopped, but the repetitive sound of the Mockingjay's name is still drawing closer. We start running, Katniss choking on the smell of roses as we go. A beam of light traps Messalla barely missing me, and I turn back to help only to be pulled back by Cressida as we watch the skin being melted off our comrade as Peeta pushes forward and takes charge. I hang behind a little, knowing if Peeta loses his mind I'll have to be the one to put him down. No matter what she tells herself, I know Katniss would never be able to pull the trigger on him if it came down to it.

If that becomes necessary, I know I have to be his murderer. It's not only because I promised him I wouldn't let him get taken by Snow, but also because this is the one thing I can do for Katniss that he can't. Everyone is against killing Peeta or letting him kill himself. If it came down to it, the killer would have to be me, for her safety.

As we pass the Meat Grinder Jackson and Leeg 1pull back, and I pause to see what they're doing. Then I realize why they're hanging back, that they plan on holding off the mutts for as long as possible so we can escape. I move to join them but Jackson grabs my shoulder, tears in her eyes.

"No, you have to keep going. She needs you to keep going. Don't fail. Keep her safe, Gale." She says, panic and fear in her voice overshadowed by her obvious resolve. Leeg 1 looks petrified but nods, saluting me. I hug Jackson briefly before running to catch up with the others.

I show up just in time to see them skittering across a narrow bridge over bubbles and run across it. "Stand back!" I call, shooting out the other end of the bridge just as the mutts reach it. As the mutts throw themselves into the toxic sludge Katniss starts to fall apart. These mutts, after all, are meant to damage her specifically and they're doing their job.

A mutt grabs her ankle and she blows its head off as I lift her away and shove her into the ladder, pushing her up it as far as a can. Finally she comes to and grabs the rungs, climbing for her life, everyone following. I hear Finnick climbing below me and say a silent prayer that we'll both make it out of this alive and back to Annie. I hear his first scream as Katniss reaches the platform. Turning I look back at Finnick trembling.

The mutts already have a hold on him.

I start to climb back down, intent on helping him but he shakes his head, tears falling thick and fast down his face. I pause, torn between wanting to help him and the fear that compels me to keep climbing for the sky. I slide down a few more rungs towards him.

"No! You're keeping your promise to me damn it!" He shouts up at me, his voice angry. My brain spasms and I have no idea what he's talking about until he holds out his hand with his wedding ring on it. My heart sinks, tear rising in my eyes. He can't be serious, can he? "Take care of her. Take care of Annie. Our girl needs you."

"I promised her first!" I snap, moving down to help him. Something catches me in the neck, Finnick shoving me back up the rungs angrily. I get a good look at him over my shoulder and see it's too late for him, that if I stay I'll die with him here in a dark rose-scented grave.

"Don't you dare make Annie be alone," He says through tears, shoving me up the ladder a little higher. It's words that push me forward, that make me reach the platform. And then suddenly Katniss is climbing down in front of me.

"Climb!" I yell, and she obeys, pulling me onto the platform with her. As soon as she sees I'm not dying right away she heads back for the tunnel but I stop her, scared. "No."

"Someone's still alive." She cries, pointing. I cringe, knowing who it is, knowing Finnick is already dying.

"No, Katniss. They're not coming." I say, shaking. "Only the mutts are.

She looks back anyways with her flashlight. I can tell when she sees Finnick, can see the pain in her eyes. Suddenly her hands are at her belt and she's giving the command for her Holo to explode, chucking it down the tunnel at Finnick and the mutts. My eyes close as it explodes, hands over my ears trying to block it out. I understand this is more humane in her eyes, death at the hands of a friend than in the teeth of the mutts… and yet it kills me inside thinking of how this is what we have to tell Annie when we come back alive without her husband. I just pray I'm not the one that has to tell her. Pollux locks the tunnel, and I shove my thoughts down as well. These are worries for another time, when we're safe again. Sometimes I wonder if that day will ever come.

And then I feel my heart explode. Turning I look over just in time to see Katniss kissing Peeta, both of them crying. Shaking I look away, close my eyes, but the image is already burned into my brain. Nothing can block out their words to each other.

"Don't let him take you from me."

"No. I don't want to…"

"Stay with me."

"Always,"

It's a blessing when we're running again, heading for the street. There's already been too much death, too much loss, and when Katniss shoots a woman through the heart so that we won't be discovered as we burst into her home for cover I don't even flinch. I hate that I'm not affected by it now, but know this moment will come back to haunt me later. In the end, everything does, even the things you wish would stay buried.

Finnick… how was I going to tell Annie? I knew someone deep down that it had to be me, even though I was terrified. In order to keep his promise I'd had to break the one I'd made to her. I hadn't been able to bring him home to her, but I'd tried hadn't I? I'd gone back, hadn't I? Would she understand I'd done my best, or hate me for failing her?

As we start to catch our breath in the dead woman's apartment Katniss turns to me. "How long do you think we have before they figure out some of us could have survived?"

"I think they could be here anytime," I say. "They knew we were heading for the streets. Probably the explosion will throw them for a few minutes, then they'll start looking for our exit points."

Cressida and Katniss move to the window, together trying to piece together a plan. I'm dimly aware of tears on my face and brush them away, trying to hold together. I can't believe Finnick's dead. I know I should be focusing on keeping myself and the others alive, on the war, but all I can think about is how I'm going to explain to Annie.

Suddenly Katniss is calling for all of us to disguise ourselves, reaching into her pocket for the keys to Peeta's handcuffs. His reaction is so visceral that we all take a step back, worried. "No," he says. "Don't. They help hold me together."

"You might need your hands." I say, trying to keep my voice even.

"When I feel myself slipping, I dig my wrists into them, and the pain helps me focus," he says looking directly at Katniss, who lets the matter go instantly. Instead we all disguise ourselves as much as we can, all of us knowing any one of us could be recognized from all the propos we've been in lately.

In the street we slip into the crowd, Cressida leading us to a grisly store with fur underwear in the windows. Inside sits a catwoman behind the counter, tense looking and distrustful. Cressida pulls off her wig and reveals herself, Katniss doing likewise. The reaction is immediate and jarring as she swiftly moves off, gesturing for us to follow. Suddenly I know what's about to happen and I hate it, even if it means we're safe. We're going into hiding.

We slip inside, and I finally collapse. I'd almost forgotten about my injury with all the fear and worrying. I feel hands helping me down onto a bed of pelts, people pulling my weapons off of me. Cool water coats my neck cleaning the wound as I start to slip, unable to hold on to consciousness completely anymore. I grit my teeth as someone stitches me up, glancing up through the pain at Katniss. Once she's done bandaging me up she strokes my hair.

"You can rest now. It's safe here," She says.

I let myself drift off, and wish I hadn't. My dreams scream at me in fear, in pain, in anger. These are screams I know, because I heard them. They're not Finnick like I would have expected. These are from before, from my rescue mission. These are from Annie.


	9. Chapter 9: The Aftermath

Hey all! I hope this chapter finds you well! In case anyone wants to know, the co-authoring project is going rather well. The plot is quickly moving forwards, and the characters are showing a nice depth. Anyways, onward to the fanfiction!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Hunger Games, the characters, etc. Some of the dialogue in here comes directly from _Mockingjay_ for the sake of following the story correctly.

Also, I might be a little wrong about a few facts. The book's timeline was a little vague, so I have no idea when Annie would have found out when she was pregnant because the passage of time from her wedding to Finnick going off to war is a little confusing. If I have her finding out too soon, forgive me. For the sake of trying to be accurate, my timeline is a little vague from Gale's rescue from the Peacekeepers to when he wakes up in the hospital. If I'm wrong and someone knows the timeline better, please tell me so I know!

Sooooooo excited because this has a few original scenes in it, and is written through the end of _Mockingjay! _I'm a little sad the end is nearing for this story, but the next chapter shall be completely invented scenes by me, which I'm excited about. :D

Anyways, happy reading!

* * *

Chapter 9: The Aftermath

* * *

Time seemed to pass differently hiding out in Tigris's shop, days slipping by in what felt like weeks one minutes and hours the next. Katniss seems more out of her element than ever, especially with both Peeta and I together in such close quarters.

One night once she's already fast asleep I feel the urge to approach him, not as Katniss's protector or a rival of her affections, especially since by now I knew it was a losing battle, but as someone from home. Part of me felt that was what he needed more than anything, especially more than nightlock pills and handcuffs. He needed something more substantial to keep him sane. He was a tired, hurt little boy who needed desperately to remember home.

He shifted and his recently changed bandages on his wrists blossomed with blood again. Even though he winced he didn't make a sound even though I could tell it was painful for him. Grabbing one of the water bottles I moved to his side, inclining it towards him. Peeta looked for a moment as though he might refuse, but nodded instead.

As I helped him take a drink I took in his face for the first time since we're lost Boggs. He looked so desperate, even more so than Katniss did. Pain was etched so deep into his eyes I wasn't sure it could ever be washed away after the war was over, if this ever ended and we made it out of here alive.

"Thanks for the water," He said softly.

"No problem," I said, shrugging it off. "I wake up ten times anyways."

"To make sure Katniss is still here?" He asks, and suddenly I know what he needs from me. He needs to talk about Katniss to someone who isn't her, who can be honest without getting emotional. He's chosen me, probably because he knew how much it hurt me to see them together, that I'd wanted her just as badly as he had once upon a time.

"Something like that," I say, knowing it to be true. Even if I couldn't say I loved her the same way I used to, she would always be my best friend. If she left without me, I knew she'd be killed. I couldn't let her leave alone. No one should hunt alone with the Capital watching.

"That was funny, what Tigris said. About no one knowing what to do with her." He said with a sigh, looking at the ceiling wistfully. For a moment I can pretend we're back where we were before the Quarter Quell. The look on his face reminds me of home and the way he used to look at her when they were in their first Games together and all I could do was watch from afar as he tried to woo my best friend. For a second, I feel like we've got Peeta back.

"Well, _we_ never have," I laugh softly, nudging his shoulder. He laughs along, shaking his hair out of his eyes. I can't explain why I'm being so chummy with him. Deep down I could never hate Peeta as much as I said I did or tried to. He was too likeable. Now that things have changed, after being hijacked, he didn't have many people left to simply be nice to him. I knew from the start I should have been better to him, but when I still felt the need to fight him for Katniss, that hadn't been an option. Now, without the competition on my mind, I could give him what he deserves – friendship, however slight it might be.

"She loves you, you know. She as good as told me after they whipped you." He says, and my heart contracts painfully. These aren't the things I want to hear. I can hear the pain I'm feeling mimicked in his voice, and know I have to lie to him. For Peeta, I must pretend to still love her to the point I did before the Quarter Quell. He needs a competition, needs to be the victor of something good. I know she'll never choose me, so what harm is there in letting Peeta think it's not over between us? If it gives him something to fight for…

"Don't believe it," I say at once, shaking my head. Right now I can't think about that time in my life. That was the first time she'd given me any hope that I might mean more to her than Peeta. "The way she kissed you in the Quarter Quell… well, she never kissed me like that."

"It was just part of the show," Peeta says, his eyebrows scrunching together in confusion.

"No, you won her over. Gave up everything for her. Maybe that's the only way to convince her you love her." I say, taking a deep breath. "I should have volunteered to take your place in the first Games. Protected her then,"

"You couldn't," He says at once, cutting me off. "She'd never have forgiven you. You had to take care of her family. They mean more to her than her life."

"Well, it won't be an issue much longer. I think it's unlikely all three of us will be alive at the end of the war. And if we are, I guess its Katniss's problem. Who to choose." As I say it the truth bats at my brain, demanding I tell him that I already know the outcome, but I keep it to myself. If he doesn't see it by now, then he never will. "We should get some sleep."

"Yeah. I wonder how she'll make up her mind." He said wistfully, looking sideways at me as we settle down to go back to sleep.

"Oh that I do know. Katniss will pick whoever she thinks she can't survive without." I say, turning away from him and shutting my eyes. After that I can't sleep but I keep my eyes tight shut until morning anyways, not wanting to answer any more questions or explain my reasoning.

* * *

Things in the Capital start falling to pieces and we know we have to leave soon. Katniss and I slip off under the guise of doing the dishes to talk out a strategy. I can feel Peeta watching us go and smile to myself. This will be good for him, remind him that he once thought she was worth fighting over. Maybe it'll motivate him.

"Do you think it's true? That Snow will let refufees into the mansion?" Katniss asks as soon as we're out of earshot, her voice excited. Suddenly she's the little girl back in the forest the first day one of her traps actually ensnared something. She's been so proud of her rabbit, scrawny and underfed as it was.

"I think he has to now, at least for the cameras," I say, knowing where this is going. We'll be going in with them.

"I'm leaving in the morning," She says. I almost roll my eyes at how predictable she is.

"I'm going with you." I say, knowing this is understood and won't be argued. "What should we do with the others?"

"Pollux and Cressida could be useful. They're good guides," She says, her voice trailing off. I can tell we're thinking the same thing. "But Peeta's too…"

"Unpredictable," I say, nodding. "Do you think he'd still let us leave him behind?"

"We can make the argument that he'll endanger us," she says at once, shrugging. Sometimes I wonder if she really cares about him, or just thinks she does when she's not the one endangering his life. More than anything I feel like she just wants something to protect, that she didn't care who or what it was as long as it gave her something to do. Right now, on the war path, she didn't need Peeta but as soon as it was over I could tell she'd be looking for him like someone looks for a lost and injured pet. "he might stay here, if we're convincing."

As expected Peeta agrees he can't come with us, but throws us all of kilter when he says he wants to go off on his own.

"To do what?" Cressida asks, panic in her voice. She's scared like the rest of us that he'll accidentally or on purpose give away our plans.

"I'm not sure exactly. The one thing I know still be useful at is causing a diversion." He says, his eyes alive for the first time in ages. "You saw what happened to that man who looked like me."

"What if you… lose control?" Katniss asks tentatively.

"You mean… go mutt? Well if I feel that coming on I'll try and get back here." He says, shrugging it off.

"And if Snow gets you again? You don't even have a gun." I remind him. Why must he always try to be a martyr? Every time I turned around he was trying to throw his life away from Katniss. No wonder she loved him so much.

"I'll just have to take my chances. Like the rest of you." He said, but the fear in his voice overwhelms me. Taking a deep breath I reach into my own suit pulling out my nightlock pill and handing it to him. He seems unsure by the offering. "What about you?"

"Don't worry. Beetee showed me how to detonate my explosive arrows by hand. If that fails, I've got my knife." I say. Looking sideways at Katniss I smile softly. "And I'll have Katniss. She won't give them the satisfaction of taking me alive."

"Take it, Peeta," she says, forcing his fingers to close around the pill with her own. There are tears in her eyes again. "No one will be there to help you.

But really, will any of us be any help to one another now? On the verge of entering the lion's den, so close to the end we can taste it, we were all alone.

The next morning as Tigris gets us ready to go, I can tell Kantiss is thinking heavily of Cinna and all he did for her. Cressida and Pollux leave before us, moving to go as far ahead of us as they can in the crowd before Katniss and I are set to leave.

As her and Peeta say their goodbyes I close my eyes, trying to block them out. In my head I see waves in the distance, someone sitting in the sand watching them looking forlorn. Without her turning I can tell its Annie. I wish so much that it'll come true, that she'll get to go home to District 4 and sit by the waves she grew up near. Part of me hopes my last great act can he helping Katniss kill Snow, that I'll die in the war and not have to be the one who tells her that her husband's dead.

The next thing I know Katniss is pulling me into the crowd of people moving towards the mansion, refugees swirling around us like the snow falling on our heads smothering everything. I want to look back for Peeta, still a little unsure he can handle being on his own, but I know doing so will call attention to us. Keeping my head down and my hand tight in Katniss's I keep shuffling forward with the waves of people, trying not to think of anything but how this will all be over soon one way or another.

Gunshots ring out and we drop to the ground for a moment before dashing through the streets to the other side pressing ourselves against the shop fronts. We hide behind a rack of shoes, Katniss peeking out. "Who is it? Can you see? Katniss?"

"They're shooting from the roof above us." She says her voice tight. I can tell from her tone she wants to join in, to take action against the Capital. "Trying to take out Peacekeepers but they're not exactly crack shots. It must be the rebels."

"If we start shooting , that's it." I remind her, shaking her by her shoulders. Suddenly I can't help but feel she's more dangerous to our mission than Peeta would have been. "The whole world will know it's us."

"No," She says, shaking her head. I can tell it pains her that she's going to have to be pacifist about this. "We've got to get Snow."

"Then we better start moving before the whole block goes up," I say, taking her hand. We stay close to the wall as we dart forward, crossing the path of a wounded Peacekeeper. Without hesitation I take his gun, putting him out of his misery before taking out another Peacekeeping thrusting the gun into Katniss's hands.

"So what are we supposed to be now?" She asks, looking at out weapons.

"Desperate citizens of the Capital." I say, shrugging. I could see any of the others in the crowd around us doing the same in this situation if they'd had their wits about them. "The Peacekeepers will think we're on their side, and hopefully the rebels have more interesting targets."

I force her to keep moving, dragging her down the street. We're so close I can almost taste the blood that will be spilt and almost smell those damn roses in the air. Chaos is all around us and we do the only thing we can do under the circumstances – kill anyone who gets in our way. Katniss is to my left guarding my back as I guard hers and we move steadily forward, tearing through the people. As long as I try and convince myself that we're back home in our forest, that we're just hunting and these are just strange animals for game, I can keep moving. Later I will grapple with the amount of human lives I've spent today, but for now, they must be mutts, animals, for me to stay alive.

"Get down!" Katniss hisses at once, pulling me to the ground into a blood of stagnant blood. We play dead and people keep marching over us but I ignore the pain, knowing it will be much worse if whatever scared Katniss gets to us. When things seem quiet again we rise at her nod and start forward again, breathing heavy.

When we reach the next block everything goes crazy. The streets are folding up under us, people falling down them into the center of the Earth where only death awaits. I fall away from Katniss and grab onto the streadiest thing I can find, a decorative iron grating around an apartment door. I try kicking at the door but no one comes to my aid as the street continues to fold up on itself. I can hear her calling my name, not caring if we get caught now if there's a way to save me. I shout to her and she looks, nodding, pulling up her gun aiming at the lock. I turn away as she shoots it off, falling inside the apartment in relief.

Until I see it's full of Peacekeepers. Knowing it'll be worse in the end if they realize who they have, which they will as soon as my disguise falls apart, I look up at Katniss catching her eyes. "SHOOT ME!"

Her eyes show confusion, and my heart sinks as I realize she can't hear me. I try again, a third time, but she still shakes her head looking lost and confused. Dragging up the rest of my voice I muster one last word: "GO!"

"Who are you?"

"What are you doing?"

"He's just a refugee!"

"No, wait… what if it's a disguise!"

Multiple hands drag over me pulling away my weapons and my disguise, everything going silent as my soldier suit and bow are revealed. Suddenly I wish I hadn't given my nightlock pill to Peeta. Suddenly, I wished I hadn't trusted Katniss to do right by me if I was captured, to kill me before I was taken alive. Now it didn't matter that I wouldn't have to be the one to tell Annie that he husband died, I had bigger worries that not even that small relief could soothe.

"It's that Hawthorne boy, the one who tails around with the Mockingjay." One of them says. I close my eyes, expecting a blow at any second to fall but none comes.

"What do we do with him?" Another asks softly as someone cuffs me and drags me backwards tossing me into a small hall closet. Just as the door shuts and darkness envelops me I hear the answer, my stomach falling.

"We call Snow. He'll want him publically executed at once to show the rebels who's in charge. Until then, we should try and get as much information out of him as we can – in whatever ways we can."

I don't know how long I was in the closet, or how much of the interrogations were real as opposed to imagined. At some point I can feel them shoving needles into my veins, know that some of what I see isn't real. It isn't until they call Finnick from the dead to haunt me that I finally get up the strength to try and break free of them. It isn't his face that scares me or the wounds prominent on his body. It's not the tears or the way he seems in constant pain, but the way he keeps wailing for Annie. His screams for her are endless, and I know I have to end them. I have to leave his ghost here with the Peacekeepers, not in the hopes of living, but to die peacefully elsewhere. I can't stand his sorrow anymore.

"Do you suppose we should give him some water or something? President Snow will be livid if we let him die before he can make a show of it." One of the guards says. He seems a little younger than the others, perhaps less set in his Capital ways. The others mumble something to him and he brings a cup of water over to where I've been bound to a chair for God only knows how long. He gently helps me drink some of it down, and for a minute I feel bad about what I'm about to do to him. Then, as he turns away, I push aside the momentary kindness he's shown me and grab his gun out of his belt, firing a shot passed his head into the skulls of two Peacekeepers just behind him.

I expect the bullet that hits me, but the shock still shakes me as it buries its way into my chest. My head snaps forward and I let it, willing myself to go limp, to play dead. The gun I've been holding rattles to the floor. I hear scuffling as they move towards me to see if they killed their captive, cutting the ropes to lie me out on the floor to inspect the bullet hole. As they mumble amongst themselves I open my eyes a sliver to assess the situation, grabbing one of the guns from the Peacekeeper's hands nearest me shooting him under the chin before dragging myself to my feet firing at the others on my way to the door.

I can feel the ground shaking under me and vaguely wonder what's going on right as another bullet hits me in the left shoulder knocking me back into the wall. All too quickly my chance for escape was slipping by me. The remaining Peacekeepers were on me before I could even think of reaching for the door again, dragging me back farther into the room and back towards the closet. My last shot of the main room before a needle was shoved into my arm to knock me out was of the young Peacekeeper who'd been kind to me lying dead on the floor with a bullet hole in his forehead.

I didn't even remember shooting him.

* * *

When the closet door opens again for a moment I'm petrified it's my death squad coming to shepherd me out to the President's mansion for a very public death, and I tense. Then hands grab me, more gently than I would have imagined, several people crowding around me watching me lying on the floor of my cage in a pool of my own blood. Was watching someone die really so interesting? Is that why the Hunger Games had gone on for so long?

"I need a medical stretcher, we've found Soldier Hawthorne; I repeat we've found Soldier Hawthorne!" Several pairs of hands lifted me gingerly from the floor and onto a gurney. Right before I black out again I see Katniss's mother hovering over me looking worried and saddened, the sound of someone crying feebly over their lost daughter, and then once again nothing.

"I think he's coming to." Shuffling beside me, a warm hand grasping onto mine pulling me back to consciousness. As I open my eyes I know who I'll see, but can't decide if it's a mirage caused by the Peacekeeper's drugs still in my system, or if she's real. "For a while there it was touch and go, there were so many doctors in here trying to keep your heart pumping. I thought you must have blown yourself out, little windstorm."

"Annie... Finnick's gone…" I croaked, voice cracking into a cough. Going pale she reached to a small side table and helped tip a few small sips of water down my throat, brushing a lock of hair back from my forehead. "I tried…"

"I know you did, Cressida told me all about what happened." She said sadly, taking my hand back into hers as she sat back down. "You went back for him, and he made you keep going. Cressida heard part of what was said, knew you'd turned back. You did what you could Gale."

"I should have done more." I said, closing my eyes. A lump was forming in my throat but I pushed passed it, tried to keep going. Her steady pressure on my hand made me open my eyes again, looking her directly in the eyes as I spoke. "I should have put him in front of me on the ladder to begin with, should have kept trying to help him and not let him push me back up the ladder. I should have got him out for you."

"Please, don't blame yourself for Finnick's death, he wouldn't have wanted that." She said, tears in her eyes.

"I doubt he wanted to die and leave you widowed either." I said without thinking, cursing at myself as she let out a sob. "I didn't mean to make it worse."

"What am I going to do without him?" She said softly, her bottom lip trembling. Pulling her hands from mine she buried her face in them, shaking back and forth slightly. Reaching up a trembling hand I stroked it through her hair, wishing I knew what to say, but things like these didn't come easily to me. I wasn't Peeta, wasn't able to know just the right thing to say to fix a situation.

"You'll do what victors have always done: survive." I say, smiling weakly at her as she lifted her head. My fingers ghosted down the side of her cheek, wiping away the tears streaming down them. "You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for Annie. And even though he'd gone you won't be alone again. I'm your windstorm, remember? I'll be here to help you, as your friend."

"I can't ask that of you." She said, shaking her head, but I placed a finger to her lips.

"I also promised Finnick if anything happened to him I'd be here to take care of you… he recognized the necklace you gave me. And he understood, even if he didn't like it." She smiled sadly, closing her eyes. Kissing her wedding band she opened her eyes again, nodding. "I'm not going to leave you Annie."

"…Honestly, I'm glad. I'm going to need you now more than ever." The way she said it signaled something heavy was about to come, but I couldn't see what she secret she could possibly have now. She'd been back at District 13 alone while we were out fighting the war. What could have happened? "I'm pregnant."

For the rest of the visit we sat in silence, Annie crawling up into bed beside me crying into my shoulder as I stroked her back, finally calming down enough to tell me what she knew about the end of the war I'd missed while in captivity. She told me about Prim's death, how Katniss and Peeta had both been there and been damaged by it, that Beetee was scared beyond belief that the bombs had been the ones he and I had created together to explode twice. He didn't know for sure if it had been or not, but was heavily shaken regardless. My heart sank, knowing this would mean the end of me and Katniss's friendship. How could she ever look at me again, knowing that it might have been my bomb that killed her little sister she'd fought so long to protect?

When Haymitch finally popped in to get her to take her to her check in with a doctor assessing the situation of her baby I smiled weakly, watching her go, only allowing myself to cry once she's already left.

The pain of the war, of all it had caused, of the loss and death accumulated rushed over me crippling me. One of the nurses walking by gave me a sad smile and entered my room attaching me to a morphling drip without saying a word. As she turned to leave I took her hand, nodding a silent thank you to her as she left. It comforted me to see that someone appeared to understand my pain, however insignificant it might have been.

* * *

Once I started feeling better I dogged Plutarch to find something for me to do, anything to keep me busy. When I wasn't cleaning up the Peacekeepers in District 2 I was with Annie, helping her make preparations to head back to District 4 to have her baby. When she said she wanted to go home to her and Finnick's district to have their child I hadn't been surprised at all – but I had been when she said she didn't want me to come with her.

"You're going to be needed here near the Capital. They've already found a job for you in District 2. You can't come back to District 4 with me even if I wanted you to, which I do. But… I need to try and stand on my own for a while first before I let you take care of me." She said, patting her barely changed stomach. She'd been picking out names for a while now. "And I can't stay here. I want the baby to be born near the sea like I was… like its father was…"

"I understand." I say, kissing her forehead chastely. Almost immediately I pulled back, turning away to riffle through another stack of papers about the goings on in the Capital and the loose ends that still needed tying up. We hadn't yet gotten around to discussing what would happen between us now that she'd been widowed, but even without words I knew not to try anything. I knew while she wouldn't turn me away, I knew she wasn't ready to even consider us, and I didn't want her to. Selfishly, I wasn't ready either. There were times when I could see the frenzied look in her eyes that I sometimes felt when I was with her, like a flame was burning to the wick and she was about to snap at any moment and reach for me and then never stop reaching. Sometimes I could see in her eyes she wanted to kiss me, but I wouldn't dare try. "I'll be here for you if and when you need me, don't forget that."

"One day I'll be ready, but not now." She said, and I could tell she was both addressing the current conversation and the unspoken rules between us. "Anyways, back to names. I think I've made up my mind."

"Oh, really now? What did you decide on?" I asked.

"If it's a girl, I want to name her Jayne Primrose Odair. That was Finnick's mother's name." She said, twirling a piece of her hair around her finger. "If it's a boy… I want to name him Minnow."

"Minnow… I like the sound of that." I said, smiling. She smiled back, brushing a lock of my hair behind my ear.

"I do too. Minnow Thorne Odair… it has a nice ring to it." She smiles, knowing I caught the significance of the middle name. The fact that she would in any way think of naming the baby after me floored me, rocking me to the very core. Wrapping her arms around my neck she pulled me into a hug, holding me tight. As I held her I marvelled at the fact that she could make me smile even after everything that had happened. Annie, in the end, was always going to be my silver lining

* * *

As I walked towards where I'd been told Katniss would be getting prepped to go on stage to execute Snow I looked down at her bow, wishing I could smash it to pieces. This bow wouldn't bring closure to anyone expect Katniss and Snow. Why did only the President and the Mockingjay get to have peace?

I tap on the door and step in, giving Katniss the once over. She looks almost like her old self again, or at least what I remember from home except for that wretched martyr suit Cinna had made her. "Can I have a minute?"

Her prep team shoot each other flushed looks and bounce off each other several times muttering before cramming themselves into the bathroom shutting the door behind them. I know they'll eavesdrop, but don't mind. There's nothing left for me to say to her that I didn't want overheard. She looks at me then as if she's trying to see our future, or what might have been if the Games hadn't come along and thrown her into Peeta's embrace. It wasn't the arena that got between us, I could tell, but her finally meeting the boy with the bread that had saved her before I'd even known her. He'd saved her life before I'd ever met her. I'd never been able to compete with that. If only I would have figured that out sooner.

"I brought you this." I say, holding up her sheath. She looks at it, at the bow, at anything but my face. "It's supposed to be symbolic. You firing the last shot of the war."

"What if I miss?" She says, and suddenly I can see us back in the woods as I tried to teach her that first snare, the one that caught nothing for days but finally caught her scrawny rabbit. Suddenly, I see her as a child again for the first time in years. "Does Coin retrieve it and bring it back to me? Or just shoot Snow through the head herself?"

"You won't miss." I say, gently pushing the sheath up onto her shoulder for her when she makes no move to take it.

"You didn't come to see me in the hospital." She says finally looking at me, her tone accusatory. I know what she's thinking, why she thinks I didn't come, and knew she would be right. I hadn't wanted to face her. If I couldn't tell her for sure if I'd been partly responsible for her sister's death, what else could I possible say? She seemed to know where my thoughts had gone. "Was it your bomb?"

"I don't know. Neither does Beetee." I say. Suddenly the sheer stubbornness that's always been between us overcomes me and I can't help but chuckle a little. "Does it matter? You'll always be thinking it anyways."

She doesn't deny it, and I can tell from her eyes I'm right. Our friendship has indeed ended, I can tell. All I can do now is bow out as gracefully as possible.

"That was the one thing I had going for me. Taking care of your family," I say, touching her cheek. This is my goodbye to her, whether she can tell or not. This has to be the end of us, I know, as I turn to go. "Shoot straight, okay?"

I know without really thinking about it where I need to go. When I get back to my room I sit down at my desk and breath, refusing to cry and surprised to find that tears never show up for me to fight. Maybe I'd known this all along, that we were heading for the climax from which neither of us could survive. We were always meant to go to war with each other and come out on different sides.

After a little while in which I filled out some more tedious paperwork I'd been avoiding, Annie burst into the room in tears, running right passed me and flopping down on my bed. I moved to her side quickly, panicked. The meeting had only been supposed to tie up the loose ends where the victors were concerned – what the hell could have happened to make her cry?

"This can't be happening!" She wailed, shoving her face into my pillow to muffle her sobs. I stroked her hair gently, unsure of what to say. Instead I sat by and rubbed her back until she started to calm, her sobs slowing as she sat up to look at me. "They wanted the victors to vote on holding one last Hunger Games using Capital children. And thanks to Katniss they're going to do it, and after she watched her sister die and everything! I lost Finnick, but you don't see me demanding Capital lives as payment. Hasn't there been enough death yet?"

"I just don't know anymore," I said honestly, pulling her into my arms as she started crying again. "It'll work itself out somehow, just you wait."

"I don't think I can do this much longer... its getting so hard to keep going. I just can't do it anymore..." She said, pushing against my chest with her fists trying to push away from me.

I refused to let her go, instead holding on all the tighter. The more time passed, the more I started to see something in Annie that scared me slightly and made me think there was more going on than her just mourning her husband's death. Occasionally she would slip off on her own, and when Johanna and I found her, she'd be sitting alone in the dark someone quiet humming her wedding song to herself pressing her hands firmly against her stomach as if she was trying to will it not to grow. It always looked as though she didn't want what was inside her to live, as if she wanted to make it disappear. I'd asked her to see a doctor about the depressive spells, but she'd refused saying she saw them enough as it was on checkups for the baby with one of the top doctors of the Capital.

Still, the longer she was pregnant, the worse she seemed to get. Sometimes it seemed when she was standing by open windows like she was poised to jump out them, her hands over her stomach as she stared at the sky. I'd taken to telling all the staff to make sure all the windows were locked and shut at all times just to be safe.

"It'll be alright once the baby's born, you'll see." I said hopefully.

"I don't want to bring a baby into a world where the Hunger Games still exist! I can't keep living like this!" She cried, her nails digging into my shoulder through my shirt. I closed my eyes at her words, praying to whoever might listen that she was joking. A world without Annie in it was something I couldn't handle to ever consider at the moment, not when so much of my consciousness had been turned towards helping her prepare for the birth of her child. Not when my entire heart finally might get some kind of love and closure from someone willing to care for me and me alone.

"Then I'll find you a second house on the sea side far away from the city where we can wait out the final Game. It's just one last game, and then it'll all be over. We can wait it out, together." I said, kissing her hair softly. Turning her face into my neck she smiled against my throat, kissing me there. "I won't let you go through this alone Annie. No matter what they throw at us we'll beat this together."

"Thank you," she said softly. I held her until she drifted off to sleep, laying her down in my bed tucking her in. As I turned off the lights I looked back at her asleep and at peace in my bed, hair fanned out across my pillows, sea green eyes hidden from me in dreams. This, I reminded myself, was why the carnage had been necessary: so that people like Annie could live lives without fear of their children being reaped for the enjoyment of the rich and powerful. So that hopefully, sometime in the future, this would all be a horrible memory in the history of Panem and not an ongoing tradition. When I had children, if I ever did, I wanted to know they'd be safe and know what a real childhood was like, not the ones we knew full of fear and witnessing the death of our friends and neighbors on a television screen.

I knew someone in the Capital Katniss was about to pull that final string and send an arrow straight through Snow's brain, but I couldn't bring myself to even turn on the television to watch. I can hear the crowd dimly out the window, but don't even turn to look. Instead I watch Annie sleeping, sitting beside my bed stroking her hair until I hear someone running down the hallway screaming about President Coin being dead.

Jumping up I run to the window and look out on the crowd. There's Coin, a single arrow in her skull, Snow dead on the ground just the same as Katniss is being lifted off by guards screaming and wrestling. Even with the window shut I know what she wants from me, and I rush to grab my bow from behind my desk, fumbling with an arrow unable to fit it with my hands shaking so much. By the time I get back to the window and throw it open, she's been carried off. I fall to my knees, knowing those screams were for me to finish it. And, just like her, I've failed to pull the trigger.


	10. Chapter 10: Beginnings

Hello everyone! I hope this update finds you well.

To whoever asked me if I'm British because I spell grey with an 'e' and not an 'a' (which is apparently the American way of doing things) no, I'm not. I'm from the US. I just happened to have been taught by my grandmother to spell it with an 'e'; also, that way looks better to me. It's just how my brain works. Both are correct, but I felt the need to answer this because someone asked in an anonymous review (aka I couldn't respond to it normally)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Hunger Games or the characters; I just like to mess with their lives a little when I have the time

Finally! My first completely original chapter! All these scenes are from me, not the book, though I do talk a bit about Katniss's trial and other things that are mentioned briefly in the end of _Mockingjay_. This fic is rapidly coming to a close!

I hope you all like this chapter, and thank you for all the support you've given me in reviews for this story!

Happy reading!

* * *

Chapter 10: Beginnings

* * *

Katniss's trial went by without a hitch as I knew it would. When they called on me to be a character witness I'd agreed, taking the stand as a good friend would even though I knew we'd never speak to each other again after our fallout. Thankfully no one knew about that but the two of us, so no one suspected a thing. I answered question after question about her behavior back in District 12 before the war, explained that she wasn't a needless killer or a murderous little girl but simply a hunter who must have felt a reason to take Coin down, even if the rest of us couldn't understand it. When they asked if there was something romantic going on between us I paused, unsure of what to say.

"She never wanted to be with me, not really. It was always going to be only Peeta in her heart, because he'd always been there waiting for her to realize it. The Mockingjay only ever wanted the boy with the bread." I said simply, and thankfully the lawyer let it rest at that without further prodding.

It wasn't until after I'd gotten off the stand and left the courtroom, Annie rushing out after me after seeing the no doubt sickened look on my face. When I told her everything, how Katniss thought it might have been my bomb, how I knew she'd never accept me against because of it, she didn't seem surprised.

"I thought something must have happened between the two of you. Your eyes have changed." She said with a small, sad smile brushing my hair off my forehead. I looked down at her in confusion, looking at my own grey eyes reflected in her large sea green ones. "They don't say the same things they used to when I first met you."

"Have they really?" I asked, shoving my hands in my pockets as we headed back to our rooms to finish packing before we headed off to District 4 to move her into her new home. Her house in Victor's Village wasn't an option since I didn't want her alone and depressed in a place that only held memories of captivity and pain. When Cressida was touring through all the Districts getting footage for a documentary on how Panem has changed since the end of the Hunger Games she stopped off in District 4 and found a house for Annie as a personal favor for me. Part of me wished I'd been able to convince her to go to District 2 with me, telling the people who asked that I didn't want her to be alone while she was pregnant with the fits of depression she'd been fighting since Finnick's death. If I was being honest with myself, the real reason was more selfish. I just didn't want her to be so far away, didn't want to be alone again. After everything that had happened during and right before the Quarter Quell and the war, the last thing I wanted was to be by myself. I needed her around to remind me there was something good left in the world, to remind me why we'd been fighting in the first place. We'd fought to free those held captive by the Capital, to give our children and future children a better place to live.

"Yes, they have. You have very expressive eyes." She smiled letting out a short but airy laugh. I could always tell the difference between her good days and her bad by whether or not she was quick to laugh. Internally I was thankful today was a good day for her – after the feelings the trial had stirred in me I couldn't stand having to be the upbeat one between the two of us. Also, I knew it would be easier to get her back to District 4 and find her a place to stay if she wasn't constantly moping and pressing her hands over her barely grown belly.

"And what do they say now?" I asked, turning to look at her. She took a deep breath, resting her hands on my shoulders as she rose on tiptoes to get on the same eyelevel as me. The way she looked at me as though she could see right through me into my heart unnerved me and exhilarated me at the same time.

"They're deep, like the oceans back home, and full of pain. You miss her friendship, but accept that she can never love you the way you once wanted her to – but that doesn't matter, because that ship sailed for you long ago. You no longer feel tied to her romantically." She said, her voice brightening with each word she uttered. The way she spoke, I could almost feel relief flooding her at the thought that I was fully over Katniss, and the idea that Annie was happy made me happy too. "Even through the pain I can see the sunrise on the horizon that sometimes overtakes everything else you feel. Its full of hope and a bright fledgling love for someone new."

"I wonder who _that_ could be." I smiled softly, cupping her face in my hands. With everything happening so fast with Katniss's murder trial and planning for the baby, we still hadn't had time to really talk about where things were headed where the two of us were concerned as a couple. Part of me wondered if she would ever be able to love me fully after the intense love she'd had for Finnick. I'd loved his wife, and he'd gone to his grave knowing that. Would it be wrong to be with her? I'd watched him died, tried to save him only to have him push me away so she wouldn't have to live alone. Was that consent? Surely he must have known.

"I don't need your eyes to tell me that." Blushing softly she rested a hand over one of mine, her eyes locking onto mine. "Your hearts speaks my name louder than any sound I know."

"Annie…" Unable to stand the unspoken words anymore I leaned in, capturing his lips gently with mine feeling her gasp at the sudden contact before melting into it, into me, her arms winding around my neck pulling me close against her. Too soon but needing to breathe I pulled back, looking down at her, her heavy breath against my neck making my heart flutter. "I love you."

"I know," she said, taking my face in her hands and kissing me again, more insistently this time. The joy at finally saying the words I'd been holding back overwhelmed me as we kissed, and picking her up I spun her around, her lips leaving mine in a gleeful laugh. As I set her back on her feet I took her hands in both of mine.

"You once told me if thing had been different we might have loved each other. You know how I feel." I said, choosing my words very carefully. For this I knew the words had to be just right, that I couldn't afford to misspeak. Trying to channel Peeta in all his perfect eloquence I took a deep breath. "Things are different now. Katniss chose someone else, and Finnick… well… the war was unkind to love for both of us. But does that mean we can't be happy with someone else, someone new?"

"I know what you're trying to ask me, you don't have to tiptoe around it. Today I can handle truths." She said, taking my hand and tugging on me to keep walking. I'd almost forgotten we had bags to finish packing before we caught out train. "I know I have bad days where I can't handle reality, and I probably always will. But today I can see things for what they are. So just ask me."

"Do you love me?" The words are out of my mouth before I can stop myself, Annie looking sideways at me with a small smile knowing he holds the ultimate power over me I never even relinquished to Katniss – I'd never asked her outright how she felt, and she'd never answered because she didn't have to. Her silence had said it all.

Suddenly I feel like the nervous little boy back in District 12 hiding behind the school house with my first crush so long ago, trying to work up the nerve to kiss her or at the very least tell her how I felt. Her name had been Marguerite – I'd almost forgotten about her, but everything came rushing back when we'd found her and her entire family dead after the bombing of District 12. I hadn't kissed her that day behind the school, even though I'd wanted to.

"What do you think?" She asked, touching the chain around my neck. Taking it gently between two fingers she pulled her shell out from under my shirt, resting a hand over it just above my heart. I knew she could feel how hard it was beating under her fingertips. Was her heart beating just as fast for me? "Of course I love you, you're my windstorm."

"Right… your windstorm." I asked flatly, wincing at how bitter my voice sounded. Keyword: best friend, not lover. She, like the girl before her, was never going to love me, was she? Her brows knitted together in confusion, but when she reached for me I pulled away. She made to speak but I cut her off, unable to listen. What was it that drew me to women who could never love me? Why did I always find myself love another man's girl? This time, I'd lost out to a ghost. "We need to finish packing. I don't want to miss our train. I'll come to your room to get your bags in half an hour."

"Gale wait, don't…" I turned and walked away from her anyways, my heart leaping up into my throat. Once again, I'd lost the girl I loved. As I shut the door of my room a minute later looking at my mostly packed bad I wondered if I would ever be able to find anyone who could love me.

* * *

"Can I come in?" I glanced up from where I'd been sitting at my desk at the doorway not the least bit surprised to see Beetee standing there, nodding. He pushed the door open shutting it tight behind him before taking a seat in the chair I kept next to my desk for when he came to visit. No one else ever came to see me. "I know I haven't said anything about it out of respect for you, but I can't be silent anymore. We need to talk."

"About what?" I asked, sure I knew the answer. He'd grown close to me in District 13 when we'd been building revolutionary new weapons together trying to win the war, and since the end of it had kept in close contact with me. It wasn't unusual for either of us to hop the train between Districts and visit each other very week or so. This must have been his week, I'd totally lost track. Lately all I'd been doing was working straight long hours into the night without stopping, half the time sleeping in the back of my office on the cot I kept behind the bookshelf just in case I needed it. His eyes lingered on it before he turned back to me, knowing what it meant more than anyone else possible could have understood.

"You know what, or more correctly, who." He said. I ignored it and tried to keep working taking deep breaths to steady myself against the floodgate of emotions he'd just opened. "I can't believe you could just drop Annie off in District 4 and get back on the train to come here."

"What was I supposed to do? We're not together, and we're certainly not married. I was just a convenient stand-in for the dead husband." I said angrily, flinching at my own words. I sounded horrible, felt it too. What kind of person was I?

"Why are you here in District 2 when you should be with Annie? I know that's where you really want to be." Beetee said his eyes boring into my skull.

"Because she made it quite clear before we boarded that train that I was just a friend to her. It doesn't matter what I want. I can't stand being the other man in a relationship again – you saw how well that worked the first time with… you know who I mean." I said, my hand shaking so much I had to stop filling out my paperwork until I'd calmed myself again. Even just thinking about Katniss was enough to bring me to my knees after Annie shot me down.

"She never said that and you know it. Look, you've both told me what was said that day. Why did her calling you her windstorm change everything?" He asked, sighing in frustration when I kept right on working and didn't respond. Letting out a very uncharacteristic growl he took the pen from my hand and threw it across the room, clapping a hand down hard on my shoulder. "You love her, and she loves you. I don't see why you feel the need to draw this out and make both of you miserable."

"If she missed me, she could call me. But she doesn't. What does that tell you?" I snapped back, knocking his hand aside. The way he was looking at me reminded me of another time months ago in a tent when someone else had been talking to me about my feelings for Annie. "Don't even give me that look. I don't want your pity."

"No, but you need it." Beetee said his voice tense with emotion. I turned to really look at him for the first time since we'd started talking, taking him in. He looked distraught. "She needs you Gale."

When I went to open my mouth to speak I stopped, something in his eyes throwing me off. They were sparkling with tears.

"…What do you know that I don't?" I asked my tone tense. He looked down at his hands in his lap.

"One of her nurses called me yesterday when she couldn't get a hold of you." He said, closing his eyes. "Annie isn't doing so well."

"What do you mean?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. My heart was starting to flutter in that familiar worried way it had the last two times I'd been forced to sit by and watch the Hunger Games take place, the same way I'd felt watching Annie mourn her husband. "Is she sick?"

"In a way, yes… they think she's falling into a serious depression." He said, finally looking up at me. There was no blame in his eyes, but I was close enough to him to know what he was thinking, and I agreed with him. If I had stayed in District 4 with her, even though it would have caused me pain, she would have been fine right now. "Sometimes there are days they can't get her to eat or drink anything and she's barely sleeping. Occasionally she has fits where she doesn't know where she is and it's like she's back in the Games again trying to fight everyone to survive. The nurses have shown up before and found her beating herself up and had to stop her. They can't get her to leave the house but when she does on her own she doesn't pay attention and almost gets herself killed. She's being reckless with her own life and not thinking of her child. Last week she slipped off the pier and nearly drowned, which they don't understand because she's such a good swimmer – but they said it's like she would have let herself drown is someone hadn't have been close enough to dive in and pull her out in time. There are days she doesn't know Finnick's dead. But she… when she does sleep she wakes up screaming for you."

"I knew she was… I didn't think it would get this bad so quickly. It's only been a few weeks." I said, hanging my head in my hands taking deep breaths to calm myself. I had to keep my head if I was going to figure out what to do to help her.

"They're worried if she doesn't get some kind of help soon she'll lose the baby… or end up killing herself."

Without another word I stood up, Beetee reaching into his pocket pulling out a train ticket for the next train going to District 4 handing it to me. I hugged him briefly, thanking him for everything without words before dashing out of my office and down to the train station without even bothering to pack or tell anyone where I was going. I have meetings and appointments made that needed to be cancelled, diner plans with my family, a trip schedules to the Capital for an interview with Cressida. Everything was going to have to wait now.

Annie needed me.

* * *

The first thing I did when I showed up, once I looked in on Annie to find her sleeping on the couch in the living room in front of the fireplace, was fire all the nurses who'd been taking care of her. As I held the phone in my hand I hesitated, unsure if what I was about to do would be helpful like I hoped or end up opening a whole can of worms I wasn't ready to dig through. Looking back at Annie on the couch I need what I had to do, dialing her number.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Everdeen? It's Gale Hawthorne." I heard her sharp intake of breath and knew the memories of home and our past in District 12 must have been flooding back to her. Part of me had been worried she would have hung up the phone as soon as she heard my name or remembered my voice, but the fact that she hadn't made me feel slightly hopeful. "I know I'm probably the last person you expected to call you, but I need your help."

As I explained to her the situation Beetee had related to me about Annie's condition, as well as information from the files I made the nurses leave behind when they left so that I could look over them, she didn't comment much expect to ask a few questions she found critical. When I was done there was silence on the other end, static crackle the only thing I could hear. Sighing I moved to hang up the phone.

"This means a lot to you, that she lives, doesn't it?" She asked. I help the phone back to my ear, anxious. There was a slight pause before she spoke again. "I'll be on the next train out to District 4. I don't forever the people who took care of me and Prim during Katniss's trips to the arena."

"Thank you," I say, putting the phone back onto the hook.

Now that was taken care of, the next mission was to make some sense of the intense mess and disrepair the nurses had allowed the house to fall into. From the looks of things, they hadn't done anything to help Annie in any way, medically or around the house. I placed a few phone calls to some of the people I knew back in District 2, convincing a few people to come out the next day as a personal favor to me to help fix things up. Finally, the only thing left to do was let her know I was there.

"Annie…" I said softly, kneeling beside her head. There were tears sparkling on her eyelashes even though she was fast asleep, her lips moving silently to words I couldn't hear. I reached up to stroke her hair, Annie shifting in her sleep flipping onto her side facing me. As she did, she left slip my name in a mournful cry that broke my heart. I touched her face gently, watching her eyes open slowly. "I'm sorry I left you."

"You finally came… I was beginning to give up." She said groggily, a soft and sad smile curling at the edges of her lips. Her hands drifted down to her slightly swelled belly, patting it gently. "I was beginning you weren't going to be here when your child is born."

"My… son?" I asked hesitantly, tears welling in my eyes. She was so out of it she thought I was Finnick, that her husband had come home. "No Annie, I'm not who you think I am. It's me, Gale."

"I know who you are." She said with a soft smile, her fingertips ghosting over my lips. "You asked me if I loved you, and when I answered you didn't understand. When I called you mine, I meant it. I meant I loved you. I want you to give my baby a father, and love me."

"Is this your way of proposing to me?" I asked half laughing even as tears slid down my face. She nodded sleepily, running her fingers through my hair. "How about we wait until you're feeling better and not half asleep to discuss this, okay?"

"Alright," she said, rolling back over to go back to sleep. "I'll still want to marry you later, but I'll wait. I'm glad you're here Gale."

"I'm glad too sweetheart."


	11. Chapter 11: Rebuilding

Hey all! I hope this chapter finds you well and that you like it I'm sorry for the very long interlude between the last chapter and this one, but life got in the way of writing time. I apologize and hope the high levels of fluff in this chapter makes up for the time it took me to post it. Although, I'm not going to lie… it's not the happiest chapter I've ever written.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own The Hunger Games or any of the characters from it

Okay, I want to clear something up really quick. In one of the reviews I got to the last chapter someone pointed out that I'd made a mistake and that Mrs. Everdeen according to the books was in District 4 after the war. I swear I did that on purpose and explain that in this chapter! My basic idea was centered around Gale not knowing where she'd gone and another little twist – but I'll let you read it yourselves.

Anyways, without further ado, happy reading!

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Chapter 11: Rebuilding

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Mrs. Everdeen showed up before Annie reawakened, rushing passed me and into the house as soon as I'd opened the door. I hung back, afraid to get too near and stir painful memories. She always seemed to push away what reminded her of the past, and right now I needed her to stay still and help Annie.

"I was in the Capital when you called." She said obviously knowing she couldn't ignore me standing in the corner behind her forever, her voice a little stiffer than old memories of her. We'd all changed so much after leaving District 12, after surviving a war.

"I never would have suspected you'd end up there." I said, my voice betraying my shock. She paused, smiling back at me a little weakly. Fragile as the smile was, I could at least tell that it was genuine. My nerves calmed slightly.

"I didn't, actually. I came here after the war. I'd always wanted to see the sea." She said, moving the hair off of Annie's forehead pressing a hand to it. "I'm working at the hospital here, but I left to get a little Capital training. I learned a lot there that could really help the people here."

"Thank you for coming on such short notice." I said, moving to stand beside her as she worked. She had a needle in the crook of Annie's arm drawing blood, an intent look on her face. Annie shifted and instinctively I grabbed her arm to hold it still so the needle wouldn't be ripped out, Mrs. Everdeen thanking me. "I wasn't sure you'd say yes when I called."

"Honestly I wasn't sure what I was planning to do until I said it." She withdrew the needle, wrapping a loose bandage over the pinprick in Annie's elbow. As she stored the vial of blood in her bag mumbling something about needing to run tests on it she suddenly froze slightly, her face turning away from mine. As she turned I could see she'd gone white. "Have you spoken to… **her**?"

"No, not since right before she killed President Coin." I said, running a hand through my hair to steady myself. I'd known when I asked her to come here that we'd have to have this conversation and even though I'd known it would be hard, I hadn't guessed it would hurt this much. Even if I didn't love her daughter anymore, talking about it still made my heart contract. "I doubt she'll ever speak to me again."

"You're not the only one she's cut out of her life. I knew she'd take it as me abandoning her when I didn't go back to District 12 with her but… I couldn't go back there, having lost a husband and a daughter. There would have been too much of their lives in those streets for me to ever be happy there again." Turning I took her hand, wishing I could offer her some kind of comfort however small. She smiled, patting my arm. "At least she's not alone. Haymitch went back with her, and Dr. Aurelius said Peeta will be well enough to join her soon last time I talked to him."

"He was always good for her." My heart contracted painfully again, leaving it unsaid in there air between us how bad I knew I'd been for her.

"Just like you were good for Annie." Mrs. Everdeen smiled meeting my eyes completely for the first time since she'd arrived. "Finnick married her, yes, and did well by her while he was still living. But I doubt she would have made it so long after she was widowed without you. Plus, you gave her life back to her when you rescued her. You've been a guardian angel for this girl since you met her."

"Thank you, but I don't deserve it." I said, excusing myself to the kitchen on the pretense of making tea. Turning the kettle on I sighed, hanging my head struggling to breathe normally. After the torture at the hands of the Capital after Katniss had failed to shoot me breathing had occasionally been a problem. By the time I'd been rescued most of the drugs had been absorbed into my system so much some of the compounds hadn't been able to be identified by my doctors, so they hadn't been able to treat everything. Once I could breathe again the water was boiling. Pouring out two mugs over the tea leaves I headed back into the living room to see Mrs. Everdeen pouring over a small notepad taking quick notes, one hand idly stroking Annie's hair. She looked up as I entered, taking the mug I offered her. "How is she? Have you been able to figure anything out?"

"Right now between what I've read in her file, what you told me over the phone, and what I've seen even without running tests on the blood I drew I can tell her chances aren't looking good. Whatever the Capital did to her to taunt Finnick before she was rescued… well, let's just say this pregnancy isn't going to be easy on her mentally or physically." She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as she took a sip of tea. I frowned, warming my hands with my own. Mrs. Everdeen had seen more than her fair share of hopeless cases working as a healer back in our District and then as a nurse in District 13 during the rebellion. If she looked this worried, then I knew Annie must be doing a lot worse than I'd thought.

"…Is she going to make it?" I asked, dropping to my knees next to the couch taking Annie's hand. She shifted in her sleep groaning. Setting aside my mug I took her hand firmly between both of mine, praying hard that I wasn't about to lose her.

"It's a tossup at his point. Her body isn't adjusting well to the pregnancy and the stress its putting on her physically is enormous. Between everything I've already mentioned and the emotional strain of memories from her own time in the Hunger Games arena and carrying her dead husband's child, not to mention…" She cut off, looking away as though embarrassed. I stared her down hard, knowing what it was she was afraid to say.

"How much do you know?" I asked, watching her face carefully as she turned back to me. Her gaze told me plainly that she knew everything. "Who told you?"

"Annie did, actually." She said, a slight smile curling her lips. I blinked, confused. "She talks in her sleep, kept mumbling your name in the same tone Katniss always did for you or Peeta when she was having a nightmare. It wasn't hard to put two and two together. She loves you."

"I know that," I said, releasing Annie's hand to take a sip of my tea clearing my throat. Staring into Annie's sleeping peaceful face I smiled softly. "I love her more than anything."

"Then why did you leave her?" She asked, resting a hand on my shoulder. Looking up at her I saw a look on her face I'd seen in Annie's face a million times before when she thought of Finnick, and once on the day that I left her. Was this how all women who were left behind in some fashion looked?

"I thought she just wanted to be friend or was using me as a substitute for Finnick. I couldn't handle feeling like that anymore, not after…. That's how Katniss treated me with Peeta." I said bitterly, shrugging her hand off. "I know it doesn't count for much, but I came back. Annie needed me, and that overrode everything. I love her, and I don't mind so much now that she could be using me, but I don't think she is."

"Let me give you a little advice," Mrs. Everdeen said with a grin, ruffling my hair. "I can't think of a single woman who would fall to pieces like this over someone she was only toying with Gale. Try to keep that in mind."

She left shortly after that, saying she'd call me if anything important came up in the blood tests, and that she'd call me tomorrow with a list of medications she thought would help as well as a list of things Annie shouldn't do or eat. I promised to keep in touch, knowing now that I didn't have to avoid her just because of who her daughter was.

Once she was gone I scouted out the rest of the house like a hunter becoming familiar with the territory of his prey. Finally I found what I'd been looking for, and hurrying back to the living room I picked Annie up as carefully as I could carrying her back to her bedroom. As I tucked her in I smiled, loving how peaceful she looked in sleep. If only she could be so content in waking as she looked in dreams.

Sitting down on the edge of her bed I kissed her forehead, glancing around the room. On her nightstand sat two pictures in deep blue painted frames. I picked up the closest one, my heart skipping a beat in my chest. In it were two pictures of me, one of us dancing at her wedding, the other of me decked out in my full battle armor with my bow, an arrow fitted and string pulled back tight ready to fire.

"I hope you don't find it too creepy that I have those pictures of you in here." Jumping slightly I looked down at her, a sleepy smile spreading over her lips. "Cressida gave them to me at the trial. She'd noticed how close we were getting and thought I would like them."

"She's quite an observant photographer, I'll give her that. And no, I don't find it creepy that you have pictures of me in your bedroom. I'm flattered." Smiling I put the frame down, reaching for the one that had been behind it, my hand freezing before I'd even touched it. It was of her and Finnick on their wedding day sharing their first kiss as husband and wife. "Should mine really be in front of your wedding picture?"

"Why not? You're my present and chance at a future, and he's my past." Looking down at her I smiled, reassured at her words as she took my hand. Holding it tightly in both of mine, feeling its warmth, I knew without looking that she wasn't wearing her wedding ring. "I'll always love him, that's a given. He was all I had for the longest time, and I owe so much to him. But there's room in my heart for more now that he'd gone, and I want to fill that space with you… if that's what you want too."

"Of course that's what I want." I said, my voice cracking slightly. She frowned, reaching up a trembling hand to touch my face. I placed my hand over hers, squeezing her fingers slightly. "I do want this, really. But I just… I don't want to push. I don't want to start this wrong, and I can wait as long as you need. I want you to be ready for a new relationship, completely."

"Thank you for always thinking of what's best for me." She smiled, kissing the back of my hand still holding hers. Suddenly she started to cough, trembling. Letting go of her I ran back down to the kitchen returning a minute later with a glass of water, helping her move into a sitting position leaning against my shoulder. She took a few shallow sips, clearing her throat. "I feel like death."

"Mrs. Everdeen was here earlier, I called her to stop by and take a look at you. She's going to call tomorrow so we know what to do to take care of you until the baby comes. Don't worry; I'm here to take care of you now. You're going to be just fine." Wrapping my arms around her I kissed her forehead, breathing her in. As I pulled back she reached up touching my cheek again before slipping her hand around to the back of my neck holding on tightly. Her face was slightly flushed, her breathing erratic as she guided my face down to hers claiming my lips with hers.

I'd kissed plenty of girls before in my lifetime, back in District 12. No one had ever kissed me quite like this before. There was love there, and not the worshiping like of affection I'd gotten back home from girls hoping that if they kissed me just right I might fall in love with them, but the real thing. I could feel everything in that kiss: her sadness and understanding of both of our lost loves and the hope for the future, the need. I could feel Annie in her kiss, in the way her lips felt, the way her tongue tastes when I slip mine into her mouth. Pushing her back on the bed I loomed over her being careful not to touch her stomach at all bracing myself on my knees and hands above her. One of her hands twisted in my hair dragging me ever downward into her, her other hand so small on my shoulder holding on for dear life as she kissed me like her life depended on it.

As I pulled back I looked down at her flushed face, a dusty pink blush rising in her cheeks, her hair fanned out on the pillows in disarray, a bare shoulder peeking out of her dress from where it had shifted. She looked like a wonderful wanton angel, but it was her eyes were what captivated me the most. Sea green and full of emotion, they looked truly happy for the first time in a long time. I opened my mouth to speak but she placed a finger to my lips, pulling me in for another kiss before releasing me.

"Am I going too fast for you? You look a little flustered." She said with a smile, her eyes twinkling with laughter. Chuckling I lay down beside her kissing her bare shoulder, not quite sure what to say. Shifting onto her side she took my hand, resting her forehead against mine. "If this isn't okay with you…"

In answer took her face in my hands, kissing her gently. She grinned as I pulled back, snuggling into my body pulling the sheets up over us. Wrapping my arms around her I rested my chin on the top of her head, my mind reeling still trying to process everything. Was she really ready for a new man in her life? And, if so, was I man enough to be able to take care of her properly?

* * *

"What do you want us to do with this Mr. Hawthorne?"

"Over there in the corner will be fine." I said, pointing absently at the corner of the porch as I poured over the lists on the clipboard in my hand. Getting everything around the house fixed up and ready for when the baby was born was turning out to be a little more work than I had originally bargained for. As soon as Annie walked in the room, a smile bright on her face, it didn't seem like so much of a price to pay to see her happy again. Setting down the clipboard I moved over to her, wrapping my arms around her from behind looking out over the lawn with her where a few gardeners were cutting the grass, pulling up weeds, and planting flowers. "Good morning sleepy head, how are you feeling?"

"A little better now that I know you're here." She smiled, pressing gently back into me. I squeezed her slightly, loving the feeling of holding her in my arms again. I'd missed it so much when I was in District 2, heartbroken and alone. Now that I had her back I was going to do everything in my power to keep her. "Has Mrs. Everdeen called about my test results yet?"

"Not yet," I said, sighing. The longer it took for her to get back to me, the more I worried. What if something was really wrong, something I couldn't fix or get medication for? I couldn't bear the thought of losing her. "Have you taken a look around the house yet? Do you like it?"

"I think it's perfect. You've thought of almost everything." She smiled, squeezing my hands in hers. "How long have you been awake?"

"A few hours, I had to be ready for the workers when they got here." I yawned, kissing her hair. Pulling away I picked the clipboard up, but only got a chance to glance at it before Annie grabbed my hand and led me back into the house and into the kitchen pushing me gently down into a seat at the recently cleared and cleaned table.

"I'm guessing you haven't eaten yet knowing you. I'll fix you something as a thank you for everything you're doing for me." She smiled, grabbing a plate before heading for the refrigerator. I smiled looking down at the clipboard, tallying things up in my head. Suddenly Annie let out an angry sound, stomping her foot. I looked up just in time to see her throw the plate to the ground where it shattered, shards going everywhere. Jumping to my feet I hurried over to her, moving to take her into my arms but she pushed me away storming out of the kitchen. She'd left the door to the refrigerator hanging open, and as I knelt to pick up some of the bigger pieces of the broken plate, I saw there was nothing on the shelves. One of the workers stuck his head around the door, moving to help me clean up. I left him alone in the kitchen and hurried to find Annie.

When I found her huddled in the cupboard under the stairs clutching angrily at her stomach, as though she was both angry at herself and blamed all her hurting on the little person growing inside of her, tears welled up in my eyes but I quickly wiped them away. I owed it to Finnick to make sure his child made it into the world; owed it to the woman I loved to stay strong for her. She couldn't see me cry, not now, not when she needed me. Kneeling down beside her I pried her hands carefully off her stomach, biting back my surprise when I saw that her nails have dug so hard into her skin through her nightgown that she'd actually drawn blood. She looked up at me then as though her eyes didn't see me, or saw through me. I could tell in her panic she had no idea who I was.

"Annie, it's me, Gale. You know me, don't you?" I asked, but she shifted away from me fear prevalent in her eyes. Taking her face in my hands I pulled her into a kiss. She resisted at first, tried to pull away, but as her lips recognized mine and she returned to herself she melted into me, into my touch, the taste of her tears as she pulled back permeating my senses. "Are you with me now?"

"Oh Gale, I'm so sorry. I'm trying, I swear I am!" She sobbed, collapsing into my arms. I pulled her close stroking her hair as she cried. Without warning she pulled away, raising a fist before I could stop her punching her stomach. Not missing a beat as she raised her hand again I grabbed both her wrists pinning her down. I couldn't tell who was more scared, her or me, both of us were shaking. "I hate it! I hate this thing living inside me! It's killing me, I know it is. Make is stop, Gale please, make it go away!"

"I can't do that, you don't know what you're saying. That's part of Finnick you're carrying inside you, or have you forgotten that? Would you really want to give up the last piece of him you have left?" She felt still under me, shutting her eyes. When she stayed that way for a few moments I released her hands, taking a deep breath to steady myself. "I know its hard on you, but…"

"No, you DON'T know! How could you? You don't have this thing living inside of you, feeding off you. You don't know what it's like to have a dead husband and have to hold your last part of him inside you, your first child, knowing that he'll never get to see his baby's face or hold them or kiss them goodnight." She said stonily, all emotion drained from her face even as tears ran down it into her hair splayed out beneath her. Annie didn't look like an angel anymore – she looked like a raving lunatic. "You have no idea how much this hurts."

"That might be true, but let me tell you about what I do understand." I snapped back, pulling away from her. Her eyes bore into me, confusion and hurt hitting me like a rock to the nose. I knew I shouldn't be yelling at her, that upsetting her in her condition was probably a bad idea, but in that selfish moment I didn't care. "I know what it's like to love someone who can never love you back and gives you a half-assed return of affection. I know what it's like to love someone who loves someone else. I know what it's like to love someone who might love you back, but already has someone else. I know what it's like to see the person you love hurting but not know how to help them or what to do. I know how it feels to be in so much pain you have to leave the person you love, and how it feels when you realize in leaving all you did was hurt the both of you. I know what it's like to love someone feeling like you'll always be in the shadow of their first love. That's what I understand."

"Gale, I…" She said helplessly, tears in her eyes. I looked away, torn between being furious and wanting to scream in agony. Tentatively she touched my arm, her eyes pleading when I looked up at her. "I'm sorry, I didn't think. I should have known better. We've both… been through a lot when it comes to love."

"You can say that again." I snorted, shaking my head. Smiling weakly she wiggled her way into my arms, resting her head on my shoulder wrapping her arms around my waist holding tightly onto me. "Look, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have gotten angry with you."

"It's alright, I understand. God knows I'm not making this easy on anyone." She sighed, burying her face in my neck. Afraid she was going to have another moody spurt I pulled her closer, afraid as much for her emotional state as the baby. Who knows how much she'd gotten angry with it before I showed up, and being so frail…

"Mr. Hawthorne, the phone's for you. It's a Mrs. Everdeen from the District Four hospital. She said something about test results." A worker said poking his head into the cupboard, raising an eyebrow at me and Annie clutching each other on the floor. Knocking him aside gently I stood, Annie following me demurely looking worried.

"Hello?" I said as I picked up the phone, elated and terrified at the same time. Once she told me the results, there'd be no going back. "What's the prognosis?"

"What isn't wrong? For a start, she's severally malnourished. You need to make sure she's eating regularly, and especially getting proteins, Vitamin D, and iron. She's dangerously low on all of them. Also, make sure she drinks lots of fluids." Mrs. Everdeen said her voice unnaturally tense considering the basic information she was telling me. I could tell she was trying to ease into it, that whatever she had next to say wasn't easy for her to tell me. "Is Annie nearby?"

"Perhaps," I said, hoping to tip her off. She sighed, her voice catching in her throat. It sounded horribly like a sob.

"If you can think of a reason to send her away for a few moments… I don't want her to overhear." She said slowly, terror rising in my chest. Turning to look at Annie sitting on the arm of her couch watching the works clean down and repaint the walls, she looked so normal. What could possibly be so wrong with her Mrs. Everdeen wanted me to make sure she was out of earshot?

"Annie, I hate to ask but could you please go make me a cup of tea?" I asked, trying to keep my voice cheery. She smiled and with a nod slid off her perch and treaded off down the hall, not suspecting a thing. I waited until I was sure she was out of earshot before speaking into the phone again. "Okay, she's gone."

"Her blood showed signs of strange chemicals. The doctors and I haven't been able to break them down completely or figure out how to treat them all effectively. We… we think the Capital's experiments might have shifted her body's natural chemistry." She said slowly, her words labored. I was taking it all in without it making sense, my brow knitting in confusion. "We… I don't know how to say it…"

"Just tell me Mrs. Everdeen, please. I can take it, whatever it is; I just need to know what I'm dealing with here." I said, holding my breath.

"We're worried her body might not be able to physically adapt and make the changes it would need to in order for her to carry this child to full term. We're worried she'll either have a miscarriage or die trying to give birth. It might come down to choosing whether to save her or the child." She said her voice full of tears. All the air left my body and I sank to my knees, the phone still pressed tight to my ear. I could feel my knuckles go white but kept holding on, afraid to let go, afraid to face reality. I knew Annie wouldn't want to give up the child she'd made with Finnick, but that would mean I might very well lose her. "I'm so sorry Gale…"

"It's there anything you can do?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady and failing. When she didn't respond right away I knew her answer, tears forming in my eyes.

"Without knowing exactly what the Capital did to her that would be impossible. Anything we tried might make her condition worse, and we just can't know for sure because we don't know what they pumped her full of." Mrs. Everdeen explained. "At this point we just have to keep a close eye on her, and try to make sure her depression is in check. If not, she might end up hurting herself or the baby worse."

"But… she looks so normal, almost healthy even. Are you sure it's this bad?" I pleaded, knowing it was useless. Static crackled between us. "I just… I can't lose her. I just got her."

"I'm sorry, I truly am." She said. Before I could anything else the phone disconnected, the last thing I heard before the phone disconnected being her sob of agony. I heard footsteps in the hall and straightened up, placing the phone back on the hook and wiping my eyes. Turning to look at Annie standing there holding two cups of tea looking so sweet and slightly frail, I couldn't believe it had come to this.

"Are you alright?" She asked, her brows knitting with concern. I fixed on a fake smile, trying to tap into the way I'd faked happiness for the propos during the war. She didn't appear to buy it completely, handing me my tea looking less than relieved. "Was it something Mrs. Everdeen said about my test results?"

When I didn't answer right away, I knew I'd as good as confirmed it. Taking a deep breath she moved into the living room sitting down on the couch. I followed her, kneeling down on the ground in front of her setting my cup aside to take her hands in both of mine. She looked down at me, clearly terrified but needing to know the truth.

"What I need to tell you… you're not going to like." I said softly, my voice catching in my throat slightly. Clearing it I took a deep breath, Annie squeezing my hands reassuringly. "Your body isn't adapting to the pregnancy the way it should be, which might be because of the experiments the Capital ran on you. There's a chance that either you or the baby… might not make it."

She didn't respond at first, sitting there staring at me blankly like she hadn't heard or didn't understand me. Then, as though the full meaning of my words hit her all at once her face fell into a terrible look of agony as she let out her first weak, cracked sob. As the tears started to fall I rested my face on her knees not wanting her to see my tears, holding tightly onto her hands as she wailed. Finally, once her cries started to subside I looked up, wiping the tears from her face gently.

"Is there anything we can do?" She asked, looking down at her slightly protruding belly.

"Mrs. Everdeen didn't seem to think there was, but I still say we try. If we can get you health and be well prepared, there might be a chance it'll be okay. I'm not ready to give up just yet... but it's your choice." I said, looking down at my hands.

"I want… to fight to keep this baby and to stay alive so I can be with you." She said, leaning down to kiss my forehead. I smiled weakly, my hands shaking slightly. "But… if it comes done to the baby or me… I don't know what to choose. I want to be with you, but… its Finnick's and my child. This baby deserves to be born."

"I'll respect your decision either way." I said softly, praying she didn't choose to save the child over herself. If she died there'd be two lost children in the world because of it: her child she'd made with Finnick, and me.

"I don't think this is a choice I can make right now. But, I do want you to promise me something." She said, looking deeply into my eyes. Didn't she already know I would do anything she asked of me without question? "If something happens to me, and my child makes it, I want you to raise my baby. It deserves to be loved by someone who can make its life better than ours were. Will you do that for me?"

"Of course I will." I said as happily as I could manage. My throat tightened as she smiled. Did she really want to leave her child to me if the worse were to happen? Could I really love something that reminded me of her, and what I would have lost to be the one taking care of it?

"Do you know how to get a hold of Johanna?" She asked suddenly, her tone cheery. I raised an eyebrow at her, confused. They'd never struck me as being particularly close back in District 13. "I wanted to see about paying her to make the crib. We've got to start planning the nursery."

"So, you just want to go ahead and plan everything while hoping for the best?" I asked, taking a deep breath at her nod. "Maybe that's for the best. Alright, I'll see if I can get a hold of Johanna on the phone. Why don't you go get dressed so we can head into town and get some groceries?"

"Sounds like a plan." She grinned, sauntering off as I returned to the telephone. As I watched her walking away from me, her hair streaming behind her, I hoped it wouldn't be for the last time.


	12. Chapter 12: The End

Hey everyone! I am so sorry for the lateness of this update, but with the big move I just had and everything else that's been going on I just didn't have time to work on this. Plus, for a while I was really sick, but I'm mostly better now. It's no excuse, but please don't be too upset with me…

Once again, if the timeline on the pregnancy is wonky, I'm sorry. The passage of time in the books was unclear to me as to when Annie found out she was carrying Finnick's baby, so I did the best I could to throw together my own makeshift timeline.

Sadly, this is the last chapter of this Fanfiction. I hope you like this final installment of this story. Happy reading!

* * *

Chapter 12: The End

* * *

"Where is that lady killer gotten off to anyways?"

"What can I say, you terrify him."

From the other room I raised an eyebrow, setting aside the paperwork I'd brought with me from District 2 when I left heading down the hall to find Johanna and Annie chatting over tea in the living room looking rather chummy. Annie smiled when she saw me motioning for me to join them. Johanna smirked slightly raising an eyebrow when I draped an arm around Annie's waist.

"My, don't you too look cozy." She said pointedly, shaking her head with laughter. "And here I thought you'd end up taking Katniss away from Peeta, yet here you are. From what I've heard her and Peeta are living together now."

"Whatever there might have been between me and her was in the past, you can't throw me off or get a rise out me over it now." I said matter-of-factly, crossing my arms loosely over my chest. Part of the dead part of my heart had halfheartedly seized up at the sound of her name but I refused to show it or seem defensive. My future was here with Annie, not back in District 12 with the retired Mockingjay.

"Well," she said standing up, "this has been a nice little reunion but I think I'd better get started on setting that crib up you ordered. Where's the nursery?"

"I'll show you the way." Annie said at once, bouncing out of the room and into the hall. Johanna hung back giving me a look that plainly said she was confused.

"I'm still not sure how you ended up here with her instead of with Katniss, but Annie looks happy and that's good enough for me." She said, pulling her ponytail tighter. We meandered towards the door slowly; I could tell she had something else to say she was holding in. "You sure do have a thing for going after other men's girls."

"That was a low blow." I said pushing passed her and stomping into the kitchen. As I sat down to do my neglected paperwork, no matter how hard I tried to ignore it I couldn't get passed her words. Surely that must be what everyone thought of me. First I'd wanted to be with Katniss, and then once Finnick was gone I'd moved in on Annie. Resting my forehead on the tabletop I tried to steady my breathing, the familiar injury making it difficult.

"Are you alright dear?" Looking up as Annie entered the room with her and Johanna's empty tea cups I forced a smile shaking my head. For a minute she stared through me as thought she could see the lie hanging in the air between us, but then she turned and the moment passed. "Johanna is such a godsend. You should see the crib she made for us! It's exactly what I wanted."

"I'm glad you like it." I said, forcing myself to turn my eyes down to my work when all I really wanted to do was watch the way the sunlight glistened on Annie's skin where she stood by the window sink. Finally she left the room, briefly resting her hand on my shoulder as she left. It was wrong to love her, I knew, but I couldn't stop myself. Especially not now that I knew she loved me back the same way.

After a few hours I'd finished all my work and called Beetee to see if he could come down and get it to take back to District 2 for me, knowing we were long overdue for a visit. He jumped at the opportunity much faster than I'd expected him to, promising to be on the first train the next day with a new batch of paperwork for me to get to work on and a housewarming present for Annie and the baby. It wasn't until I'd hung up the phone with him that I hadn't heard Johanna leave. Surely it didn't take this long to set up one crib?

As I headed up the stairs I heard laughter from the room Annie has designated would be the nursery and smiled poking my head around the door, my jaw dropping slightly. They'd painted all the walls a soft shade of blue like the ocean in the early morning light, Johanna stamping shapes of tridents and fish into the walls with little blocks of wood she must have brought with her as Annie sat on the floor and sews blue and grey stitches into the set of white curtains we'd gotten for this room the other day. A beautiful redwood crib sat in one corner by the window, the careful etching in the headboard catching my eye. Johanna has etched in a portrait of Annie and Finnick I vaguely recognized as the picture of them from their wedding that was on Annie's bedside table.

"I wondered when you'd be up here to check on us." Blinking I turned to look at Johanna, her sheepish tone telling me quite plainly she wasn't sure how to act after her comment earlier. I smiled, trying to tell her without words I was over it without having to tell Annie what had gone down between us. "Do you like it? The crib was easy to get squared away, so I figured I could lend a hand getting the rest of this room ship shape."

"Thank you so much for your help." I said, Annie beaming at me from the floor. Reaching into my pocket I pulled out the small leather pouch I'd always kept my money in pulling back the strings. "How much do I owe you for the crib exactly? Annie never told me how much it cost."

"Think of it as a belated wedding present from me since I didn't get them anything before." She said, shaking her head when I tried to hand her money anyways. Annie leapt to her feet and engulfed her in a hug, Johanna looking almost lovingly down at her as she hugged her back. "I was always fond of Finnick, so it's the least I could do. We got to know each other pretty well from being mentors. Losing him was like losing a brother."

"He always spoke highly of you." Annie said softly, the other girl looking away not wanting things to get emotional. Pulling out of the hug she gathered up her tools and the spare wood saying a brief goodbye before heading off down the stairs. A moment later we heard the door open and shut, both of us sharing a look. "She never was the best at expressing herself. Then again, most of the Victors are a little messed up in the head somehow; we were bound to be after what we went through."

"Time heals most things," I said softly, taking her hand to help her stand. She wrapped her arms around my resting her head against my chest just under my chin.

"And love heals everything else." She said without missing a beat, kissing me in the hollow of my neck. Looking down at her I couldn't help but smile, knowing that as long as I had her, nothing could break me completely.

* * *

_"Who are you?"_

_"What are you doing?"_

_"He's just a refugee!"_

_"No, wait… what if it's a disguise!"_

The nightmare was familiar, just like the scars could trace from the real life events my mind kept replaying over and over again every single night. But in my dreams, Katniss didn't mishear my pleads for death and flee to save Panem from President Snow.

She sat by and watched them kill me.

"Gale, wake up!" Jerking upright, I blinking hurriedly as someone flicked on the light beside the bed and took my face between their hands staring deep into my eyes. As I felt the madness start to slip away I recognized the sea green eyes and collapsed into Annie's embrace, not the least bit embarrassed that I could tell she felt me shaking. "Were you dreaming about when you got captured again?"

"Yes…" I said into her shoulder, afraid to look up and see worry in her eyes. I know my terror scared her after having placed me on a pedestal to be her rock once Finnick had died. Pulling away from her I crawled out of bed carefully.

"Where are you going?" She asked scooting over to the edge of the bed. As she made to get out I shook my head, resting a finger to the tip of her nose affectionately.

"I'm alright love, really, I'm just going to make a cup of tea to calm my nerves." I said softly, not wanting to worry her. After a nightmare like that, I knew I wasn't going to be sleeping again anytime soon. "You go back to sleep alright?"

"If you're sure you're alright." Her soft smile was the one light in the darkness of my mood as I turned and left, burned by her lightness of heart as I disappeared into the swallowing black of the hallway.

Down in the kitchen I turned set the tea kettle on the stove but didn't turn it on, instead heading into the living room to the phone. Taking a deep breath I picked up the receiver and dialed one of the people I swore I'd never speak to again, counting the rings as I waited wondering if this was pointless.

"Hello?" The voice was lower than I remembered, a jolt of fear shooting through me. Should I really be making this call? "Who's there damn it?"

"Hi, it's Gale Hawthorne." I said feeling a little stupid. Why was I so nervous?

"I never thought you'd call here." Swallowing I clutched the receiver tighter, pressing it against my ear until it hurt. "Do you want me to go wake Katniss?"

"No, I called to talk to you actually." I said, biting my lip. "Peeta, how is she?"

"Some days are better than others, but things are getting better I think. Her nightmares aren't as frequent as they used to be, and she doesn't space out as much as she did when I first got back to District 12." He said, the openness in his voice astounding me. Before I'd left the Capital for District 2 Haymitch had told me he wasn't sure that Peeta would ever be able to go back to the way he'd been before, something about him being too scarred on the inside to pretend nothing had happened. "She'll never admit it, but I think she misses you."

"Don't tell her, but I miss her too sometimes. She'd just think I was being weak if you told her." I said, closing my eyes against the pain blossoming in my chest. Trying to ignore it as best I could I thought back to Annie upstairs waiting for me, and why I'd called in the first place. On the other end of the line I could hear Peeta's bated breath and knew, even after all we'd gone through together my secrets were safe with him. "But… that isn't why I called, to check on Katniss I mean. I need your help with something else."

"What could you possibly need me for?" He asked. I didn't blame him for being confused, after all, for the longest time we'd tried to get rid of each other in order to win Katniss's affection. We'd never actually been friends. "Gale?..."

"How did you know when Katniss was ready to move on from what happened and love you with her full self?" I asked, wondering when he didn't respond right away if the question was too personal for me to be asking him especially given out past history. "If it's too much, or you don't want to answer, then…"

"No, it's not that. I'm just… it's complicated, you know? It's not like you asked me for a recipe I could just whip out on the spot." He said slowly, and I could tell by his tone he was doing the typical Peeta thing of trying to find the right words to say. He'd always been so good at knowing just what people needed to hear.

"You're doing that thing again where you try and sugar coat it aren't you?" I asked, shaking my head as his gentle laugh confirmed my theory. That was one of the good and bad things about him: his ability to calm people with words and make any situation seem okay, like when he'd first been put on television by President Snow and said all the things trying to end the war before it even started. "Just tell it to me straight Peeta, please."

"I'm not sure she'll ever love me with her whole being, or let me love her fully. But, even if she could, I don't think I can give her my whole self either after what I went through. The war left marks on us all, some deeper than the flesh wounds and scars the combat left us with." He said softly, his tone honest and demure. "Sometimes, it's not about healing. It's about learning to love passed the pain. That's what I'm trying to do."

"And how's it working for you?" I asked, hoping it was good news.

"Well… I'm going to ask her to marry me if that's any kind of answer for you." He said happily, true joy ringing through in his voice. My heart contracted for the shortest moment at the thought of them tying themselves together officially, but as the moment passed I knew it would be the last time I ever pined for her. Now things would finally be over.

"When are you planning on doing it?" I asked having no trouble keeping my voice civil. "Congratulations, by the way. I'm sure she'll say yes."

"Thanks, but I'm not asking just yet. I want to wait until I'm sure she'd ready." He said, but even though he sounded slightly wary I could tell he was excited. "I just wish I could get her to tell me she loves you. Even that would be enough right now."

"I'm sure it'll happen soon." I said, hopefully for both him and me know that I knew I wasn't alone in my uncertainly. We said out goodbyes, Peeta promising not to tell Katniss that I'd called or what we talked about. As I hung up the phone and headed back into the kitchen to actually make the tea I'd told Annie I was going to, I couldn't stop the smile that slid onto my face.

Though we were all scared, time was healing us up as best it could. And, as Annie said, what time wasn't healing love was attempting to.

* * *

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

Jerking awake I shot up from where I'd been sleeping with my head on my paperwork down in the kitchen, momentarily confused. And then I heard the scream again, so loud and full of agony I felt my whole heart tearing apart as I rushed up the stairs and into the bedroom where Annie lay in bed. One look at her face was all I needed to know what was wrong.

"It's the baby! It's coming, now!" She said unsteadily, the end of her words caught in a scream as it tore its way from her throat, her face contorting in pain. Picking her up gently I carried her quickly down the stairs laying her gently down on the couch before picking up the phone dialing the hospital.

"Hello, this is the District 4 hospital, how can I—"

"I need to speak to Mrs. Everdeen, pronto! This is an emergency!" I said quickly, the woman on the end of the line tripping over her words slightly before placing me on hold. Annie moaned from the loveseat, her hands clamped tightly on her stomach as her head lolled back against the arm of the couch like it couldn't support the weight of her skull anymore. The other end of the line clicked.

"Hello, this is Mrs. Everdeen."

"Please, you've got to help us!" I said at once, my words slipping around inside my mouth coming out frantic and slightly slurred.

"Hold on now, Gale is that you?" She asked, her voice slightly panicked. "What's wrong?"

"Annie says the baby's coming, now. You've got to help us; I don't think we'll make it to the hospital on time!" I said, the phone receiver shaking in my grip. "What do I do?"

"But… the baby… this shouldn't be full term should it?" She asked me quickly, her voice strangely calm. Was I wrong to be freaking out so much?

"I don't know. How long is full term anyways?" I asked, Annie's scream behind me striking my brain like a gong. "Whether or not she should be having the baby now, she is. Please, just tell me what to and come as quick as you can!"

She told me what to do calmly and slowly, making me repeat everything back to her to make sure I remembered them. As soon as I hung up I started dashing around the house getting a bucket each of cold and warm water along with some towels, grabbing a pair of kitchen shears to cut the umbilical cord if the baby came before Mrs. Everdeen could get here.

"Gale please, where are you?" Running back into the living room I took the hand she clamped down onto the collar of my shirt, her knuckles turning bright white. "Please, don't leave me! I can't bear this alone!"

"No, honey I'm not going anywhere." Helping her sit up I gently moved her into the position sitting up against the back of the couch with feet pressed firmly on the ground, knees wide apart. "I'm here for you, okay? I'm not going anywhere."

"I can feel it; I can feel the baby inside me trying to get out." She said in a strained voice, but her tone was oddly excited. When I looked up into her face I saw tears there, but I also saw a smile which even tinged with pain couldn't hide her beauty. "Oh, I wish Finnick could be here for this!"

"I'm sorry he'd not, but you have to know he'd be here if he could." I said, swallowing against the lump in my throat I felt at her words. Part of me was in agony thinking she would have chosen Finnick over me, the rest of me pushing it aside knowing it didn't matter now when she needed me most. "You have to be strong for him now Annie. Bring his baby into the world, you can do it. Make him proud!"

"Ohhhhhh it hurts, it hurts so bad!" She groaned, her hand clamping down even tighter on mine than I could have imagined possible from such a tiny girl. "Make it stop, please Gale, make it stop!"

"It'll be over soon baby, I promise." With my free hand I grabbed one of the towels I had soaking in the cool water pressing it against her forehead gently. I wracked my brain trying to remember what Mrs. Everdeen had told me to do but found myself drawing a blank. How the hell could I be perfectly fine, comfortable even, in a combat situation but not be able to handle something like this? "You just need to hold on a little while longer until Mrs. Everdeen gets here to deliver the baby alright?"

"Just stay with me, keep holding my hand!" She said through gritted teeth, her free hand scrambling against the floor trying to find a firm grip to cling to. "Don't ever let go of me, you hear?"

"Never Annie, never…"

* * *

Looking in the mirror at myself I whipped the tears from my eyes as I adjusted the black tie around my neck. Behind me I saw Beetee sidle into the room looking weary and more than a little upset, his own black clothing making the large shadows under his eyes stand out all the more against his pale complexion. Moving to stand beside me he rested a hand on my shoulder, the tears in his eyes mirroring my own.

"Are you ready to head over to… the funeral?" He asked his face wrinkling apologetically as I hung my head staring at the floor. This was turning out to be a lot harder than I'd thought it would be. "I'll be in the hall when you're ready to go."

Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes as I listened to his footsteps fade away, not looking up into my reflection until I heard the familiar sound of the heavy wooden door clicking shut. My eyes looked hollower now than they ever had during the war or before then, not even the time when my family had been on the brink of starvation coming close to the way my stare blanked out now. Inside I could feel my heart breaking but knew I needed this for closure. This had to be done. It was time to say goodbye.

"Gale are you in here?..." Turning around I watched as Annie poked her head into the room looking oddly content given the circumstances, her swift but solemn smile moving me forward towards her to take her hand. It was comforting in mine, her eyes staring into mine melting my soul where it sat quivering inside me. "Are you alright?"

"Shouldn't you be the one falling to pieces while I console you?" I asked, half laughing as she brushed away my tears. Taking a deep breath she shook her head, fixing on the brightest smile I'd seen in a long time. "How can you be so cheery about this?"

"Because I know it's time to say good bye and try again." She said frankly, leaning in to kiss me. Her lips were warm and reassuring against mine, the taste of salt from my tears pervading my senses as her fingers laced with mine. It was almost too easy to forget why we were here, why almost everyone we'd ever known and loved had turned up for this horrible yet auspicious day. As I pressed her back into the mirror, felt her gasp against my mouth as I slid my arms around her, it was almost as if nothing had ever gone wrong. It was like this was how things had always been, should always have been. Then the sound of sobbing from the hall caught my attention, and the glorious moment ended just as suddenly as it had started. I pulled back from her kiss and her embrace, but didn't dare let go of her hand as she led me into the hall where Beetee stood waiting blowing his nose into a handkerchief.

"The service should be starting shortly. I'll meet you two down there as soon as I can, alright? I've just got one more thing to take care of." Annie smiled, kissing my forehead before letting go of my hand and releasing me into Beetee's care for the time being. He clapped my shoulder briefly before leading the way down the stairs and out onto the lawn, both of us walking slowly down to the beach where several small black tents and chairs had been set up next to a small black boat draped with silk, flowers, and ribbons as was custom for funerals in District 4.

Beetee and I took headed the queue taking their seats, a young woman I'd never met before handing us each a water lily blossom to throw into the boat with our good wishes on the way into the afterlife and our last words for the departed. We took a pair of seats in the front row making sure to save a seat for Annie right by the isle so she could be the first to say good bye. Much to my confusion, she was still missing whenever started taking their seats and settling down for the ceremony to start. Beetee and I searched the crowd sharing a look as we turned around the plainly said neither of us had seen sight nor sign of her.

"I guess she couldn't do this after all." I said in a tight voice, wringing my hands in my lap. Beetee looked sideways at me raising an eyebrow in confusion. "This must be hard on her, you know? Maybe she couldn't handle it after all and decided to stay up in the house to watch out a window. Maybe she needs to do this alone."

Music drifted over the crowd drowning out my thoughts and words. Forcing my eyes to face forwards I looked over at the boat, so empty and yet so powerful all the same. I was vaguely aware of the words being said by the officiator of the ceremony but their meaning didn't enter my skull as I watched the torches on the ends of the boat being lit. It wasn't until everything was almost over and people were getting to their feet to place their water lilies in the boat that Annie made her way forward, everyone parting to let her through. I caught her eye as she came forward, smiling around the two lilies she had by the stems clenched in her teeth. Taking them from her I leaned in to kiss her forehead carefully, questioning her silently with my eyes.

"Sorry I took so long," she said, shifting the bundle in her arms. "But little Minnow here was being so fussy and I didn't want him interrupting his Daddy's funeral."

"I'll hold him while… while you go say goodbye to Finnick." Johanna offered, Annie relinquishing her son with a small smile taking her flowers back from me. Taking my hand she stepped forward towards the boat with a flower for both her and her son clutched in the hand not holding deadly tight onto mine. As she reached the edge of the boat she let go of my hand and looked down at its meager contents, several pictures of her late husband looking back at her in place of a read body since it had been blown to pieces by Katniss's grenade.

Kneeling beside the boat she rested her hand upon its rough wooden side leaning her cheek against it as she placed her two flowers inside next to the picture of the two of them on their wedding day dancing for the first time as husband and wife. Their dream had been a short lived one, but more beautiful than almost any other romance I'd ever seen before in all the years I'd been alive. I stepped away while she said her goodbyes so she could have some privacy, placing my own flower next to hers as she stood.

"Goodbye Finnick, you were a great man. I wish… it hadn't had to go down like it did. We'll never forget you, or let Minnow forget who his father was or how brave he was right up to the end." I said quietly, feeling a little foolish but knowing it needed to be said even if it was just for my benefit. The wind rustled through my hair, whistling off the water and waves as Annie took my hand. "I mean to keep my promise to you, to take care of Annie for you. We'll never forget you O'dair, you smarmy victor you."

Walking back to Johanna as others walked forward Annie took the baby back kissing his forehead, pulling the blanket back so Beetee, Johanna and I could see his face better. Yawning he opened his eyes with a gurgle, the same shocking sea green color of his mother's eyes as she watched me watching her son stared back at me, Minnow letting out a small squeal reaching a hand out of his blankets for me. Looking up at Annie I half raised my arms, Johanna and Beetee moving off to place their water lilies in the boat and say goodbye as I took the baby into my arms holding his softly.

"He wasn't the only reason I was late to the funeral you know." She said suddenly, her eyes full of warmth as she watched me coddling her child. Looking up at me she locked eyes with me, her tone shifting to one of reserved distance. "I got a call from Peeta. He wanted to know why he didn't see us at the wedding."

"When was it?" I asked, knowing the answer before she said it from the look she was giving me.

"Today," she said shortly, wrapping her arms around herself looking tense. I'd noticed as she started to get well that she was particularly wary to bring up Katniss, almost as if she was sure I was going to run back and let her torture my heart some more at any second. "Why didn't you tell me it was supposed to be today when I set the date for the funeral? I could have picked another day."

"I honestly didn't even know about the wedding." I said swallowing passed the lump in my throat. Her eyes registered her surprise. Looking away I watched everyone saying goodbye to Finnick and sighed. At least now it made sense why Katniss, Peeta, and Haymitch hadn't come to the funeral or responded to the letters I sent them about it. "I think they'll be needing you to set fire to the boat soon from the look of things. People are heading back to their seats."

"Can you take Minnow up to the house and put him down for bed for me?" She asked, kissing his forehead and then mine when I nodded before heading off back down the beach towards the boat. Turning I headed back towards the house, only turning back to look once I was on the porch. What I saw nearly took my breath away.

Annie standing with her heels being eaten by the gently rolling waves on the edge of the shore watch the burning boat start to sail away off out to sea. Even from such a distance I could see resolve in her stance, but no tears or marks of a great sadness. I knew she'd said goodbye to her late husband long ago, but when I'd suggested after the baby was born safely that we have a traditional funeral to put his memory to rest for everyone else who had known him, she'd said it was a good idea.

Sometimes I wondered if I'd ever really understand her completely.

Minnow shifted in my arms making an agitated sound, pulling at the edges of his blankets with his small hands. Shaking myself out of it I hurried inside the house where it was warm, heading up the stairs to the nursery to lay him down to sleep. After I'd rocked him and fed him I lay him down in his bed, smiling as he yawned already starting to dose as I pulled the blanket up over him. Switching off the light I watched him as he fell asleep for a moment, my hand absently moving to touch the birth certifigate framed on the wall like it always did when I was in his nursery. Somehow I just couldn't believe she'd given him the middle name Hawthorne because of me.

"How's our boy?" Turning I looked at Annie, her hands crossed over her chest as she leaned back against the doorframe. Thought she looked a little tired and emotionally drained she was still smiling, eyes twinkling as I made my way over to her and pulled her into my embrace.

"He's beautiful and strong as always, just like his Mama is." I smiled, kissing the top of her head. She pulled away from me giving me a seductive look, wiggling her finger for me to follow her as she turned and headed off down the hall for our bedroom. Pulling the nursery door until it was only cracked I stalked off down the hall after her, tugging off my jacket and tie as I went. Something told me Annie and I were about to celebrate life in the best way possible.

"Gale, can I ask you something important?" Looking up from the paperwork I'd been doing I rolled my eyes. Annie had been sitting on the counter sipping coffee as she watched me work for several quiet minutes, but I'd known she'd come in the kitchen for a reason. She left me alone while I worked unless it was important.

I'd stopped going back to District 2 as soon as Minnow had been born, instead getting all of my work faxed to our home in District 4. Beetee came on the train once a week to fill me in on matters papers couldn't convey but most often just to visit, both of us needing to keep up our friendship.

"Annie, we've been sharing a bed for almost a year now and you still think you can't ask me things without asking first for permission to ask me?" Smiling I set down my pen, pushing my chair back as she slid off the counter and made her way over to me. Climbing onto my lap she slipped her arms around my neck holding me tightly, her eyes flashing the way they only did when she was truly excited about something. "What do you need to ask me lovely?"

"I was just wondering, you know…" She said, pressing something I hadn't seen her carrying against the back of my neck. Reaching behind me I took it from her, pulling it around where I could see. It was a ring box. "I was just wondering if you'd marry me."

"Annie…" My throat suddenly dry I looked up at her desperately, struggling for the words to say. Her gaze never faltered as she watched me try to contain myself, a slow smile spreading over her face as I nodded. "Of course I'll marry you! I love you…"

"I love you too." When she kissed me, it felt like it had that first time before she married Finnick, so flesh and innocent I could have cried. Pulling back she laughed, resting her forehead against mine as I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist.

Finally, love had healed what time couldn't. Love had finally given me her.


End file.
